A Life-Changing Compliment

This Really Happened!!

Two years ago, in 2006, I attended my college class reunion. I enjoyed meeting a couple of dozen of my old classmates, some of whom I had not seen in fifty years. As we were breaking up and heading for home I happened to come up along side Marilyn. We greeted each other, chatted a little, and then began to head off in different directions for our cars. As we began to part I said to her "you know you are as beautiful as you ever were." She glowed, thanked me, and we said "goodbye".

Two years later: October 2008, I was speaking on Care and Kindness at Christ Memorial Church In Holland Michigan. During a recess a woman came up and identified herself as Shirley. She said she was Marilyn's sister, and reminded me we had chatted at that reunion. She then went on to tell me that the compliment I had paid to Marilyn in the college parking lot, over two years earlier, had "changed Marilyn's life."

That sentence literally stopped me. "What do you mean?" I asked stunned with interest. Shirley went on to say, that what I had said to Marilyn had charged her up, strengthened her confidence, and caused her to come alive in a whole new way.

Nothing has happened in the last dozen years, as powerful as that report, to assure me and motivate me, to go on speaking and teaching encouragement, appreciation, and loving-kindness everywhere I go. It can be life-changing.

Twelve “Secret” Behaviors: They Will Brighten Lives—including yours, the giver.

Prelude: Five (or Six) Key Essentials before incorporating the “12 Secrets”-These are vital for everypone to believe.

1. You have the capacities, qualities, and abilities that can brighten another person’s life, help them gain confidence and feel hopeful, about life.

2. Everyone can be helped by your encouragement, kindness, interest and friendliness. No one is exempt.

3. Your warmth, friendliness, and kindness, when another feels it and sees it, makes them feel there is goodness and care in this world. That is hopefulness.

4. When you show any form of loving-kindness toward anybody you it is like showing it to Jesus, himself.

5. The care and kindness you give to others is infectious. They will catch it and pass it on, to help keep the ripples flowing, making this a happier world.

Plus: The benefits others gain from your care and kindness are matched by the positive feelings you will experience, in and from the process of offering such love.

Next I will list the first six of the Twelve Secrets.

Care and Kindness’ March Line-Up

Our church has been commended repeatedly for being “the friendliest church we’ve ever been to”. We are working very hard to keep it that way, and to help other churches become outstanding in showing hospitality, friendliness, appreciation and encouragement.

Our annual Care and Kindness conference is designed to help us all be “the light of the world” as Jesus called us.

New Speakers:

(1.) Dr. Robert Emmons—author of Thanks. He is the leading researcher on the benefits and skills of being actively grateful every day of the week. He is from The University of California-Davis.

(2.) Dr. William La Fleur from The University of Pennsylvania. He teaches Comparative Religions. We live in the neighborhood of the largest Vietnamese population outside of Saigon, most of whom are Buddhists. Dr. La Fleur will enlighten us on how to show loving kindness to this wonderful group of people.

(3.) David Kinnaman---He has unsettling evidence that Christians are not held in esteem by those outside the church. His book UnChristian shows his research. Kinnaman will also talk about how to fix this.


PLUS: Robby V. Schuller, Rebecca Caldwell, Vicki Orr, Annette Craig, Jan Pfeffer, Dick Innes, all with dynamic, helpful, topics for keeping our lights shining brightly.

March 12, 13, 14---in The Arboretum of The Crystal Cathedral

For more information about our Care and Kindness Conference Click Here

Shauna Fleming was presented the Crystal Wave Award

Shauna Fleming was presented the Crystal Wave Award, at the Care and Kindness dinner March 14. Now a student at Chapman University Shauna, as a high school senior, started "A Million Thanks". It is a letter-writing campaign that has delivered over a million letters to U.S. Service men and women.

Two Elders Star at Care and Kindness Conference

Rebecca Caldwell and Mark Harris stepped up to the plate, and hit home runs in our annual event, just completed. They were both drafted. It wasn't their idea that they should be speakers. But they sensed that they were equipped for what was needed and both said "Yes".

Rebecca is a long time Disneyland employee. So she fit perfectly our new plan, to attempt to teach people in businesses, and professional offices, something about loving-kindness. We all know Disneyland is famed for personal attention and consideration of their visitors. So Rebecca was recruited to pull together some of what she knows and practices, to share with the broader community.
In a recent mailing to churches we opened with the sentence "Churches should be the friendliest places on earth." So we were also hoping a few church employees would also show up and catch the message-and the vision. Rebecca solidly inspired her audience!

Mark Harris is an inspiring person in every way. His work is to coach and guide women and men in cordiality as they meet customers on the telephone. He is the Director of Customer Service for Alchemy Worldwide. Mark had a primary focus on the kind of loving kindness one can bring in a telephone conversation. What a need! Everything happens over the telephone these days. And Mark is really living out the love of Jesus Christ by teaching his people loving kindness in their work. God is love. And Love is God. Thank you Mark for your leadership in being The Light of the World.

A Discovery by Three Navajo Pastors at the Kindness Conference

There were many highlights, for me, this year, but one stands out. It was the response of the three men from New Mexico. They said, "We have found what we have been looking for." The conference was barely underway when this conversation, with Linda Kok and Dr. Mark Spee, occurred. We were just getting started, and they were already excited about what they had heard.

The Pastor, and his two assistants, lead a church in New Mexico, forty miles north of Gallup. They have been to a number of different major church teaching events. Here is how they summarized why they were enthusiastic about what we were presenting: they said the other events, they had attended, all stress the necessity that the local church be involved in some kind of highly organized project. They gave a few examples, and then they said, "But this is what we think is the answer - They talk about projects. You talk about living it. That is what we need! We will take this home. We think this is the key to keeping the younger generation. They need to know that following Jesus makes a positive difference in people's lives."

Care and Kindness by One of Our Elders Catherine Spiegel

I was in a CVS Drug Store line waiting to pick up my pictures. An elderly couple were in front of me and I overheard him mention the Crystal Cathedral. I approached them and said, "You look like Crystal Cathedral people." Their faces lit up, and I introduced myself as a Crystal Cathedral Elder. They were so turned on about the Crystal cathedral! I later discovered they are not listed as church members (so an Elder is not assigned to them), but they are on the donor list.

I sent them a Christmas card, and wrote that I'd be honored to be their Elder.; and if they had any joys or concerns to share, or would like prayer, to please call me, and I gave them my telephone number.

I received a note from them telling me how happy they are to have a Crystal Cathedral Elder. They said they did not attend church regularly, due to some health concerns, but they watch the Hour of Power faithfully. He promised he would call my number if they need any help.

I just "showed up" and God did the rest. - Catherine Spiegel

Editor's note: this was assertive friendliness by Catherine Spiegel, with wonderful results.