!0 Tips for Helping a Hurting Person

1.  Listen.  That is help them talk about what happened and how they are feeling.

2.  Notice the feelings they are having and talking about.  Feelings are more important than the facts.

3.  Do not try to fix them.

4.  Your body and face should look interested and attentive.

5.  Repeat in words what you see and hear them to be feeling.  Their emotions are most important.

6.  "Name the elephant."  This means you speak of sensitive issues of which you are aware.  You do not avoid sensitive subjects.

7.  "Check Your Story at the Door."  Avoid slipping into talking about your own experiences, some of which might be similar to theirs.  When you do that they may be politely listening to you ionstead of you listening to them.

8.  Pray personally.  That is focus on the crisis and the person's needs and hurts.  Touch, holding the other person's hands, often is meaningful.

9.  Allow, accept, encourage tears.(your own as well as theirs).  The Bible says "weep with those who weep."

10.  Avoid "pat answers", cf. # 3 above "Do not try to fix them".

P.S. Trust the healing presence and love of Jesus.  Healing will happen.