People Need People

People Need People

What does this mean?  “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am present.”  They are the words of Jesus.  Is it just a description of a potent reality or is there more to it?

On the one hand it is saying that when we are gathered together in small groups The Lord is present with us.  However it would be an error to just leave it as a description.  It is also a prescription.  The words tell us we ought to get together in small groups because there is a special effect in those kind of gatherings.

Realizing this is a prescription we come to the understanding that in small groups the healing and helping presence of Christ Jesus becomes effective.  Such beneficial occasions are the result of the reality that Christ is in each of us and being with each other makes a positive difference.

Prayer is a powerful and necessary resource in our lives but a great amount of healing , renewal and restoration comes through being with others who care and encourage us.  Listening, forgiving, accepting are healing modalities.  And they are facilitated by people near us.

Sometimes we act as if God’s love comes through Bible verses, Christian truths and ideas.  We sometimes act as if the hurting person needs to get her facts straight or he needs clearer understanding of certain truths.  Far more powerful and healing is the presence of a caring friend or two.  “Weep with those who weep” the Bible advises.  There is where healing happens.  Not by getting better understanding.

That is what the church must be, a group who hurt with each other and laugh with each other.  It must be people who are “we” not “he” and “me”.  Just “we”.  That is the body of Christ.  We feel with each other.  And when we gather together and hear each other’s stories, healing happens.    

 

Combating Ageism--Six Suggestions

Ageism is an attitude or outlook that discounts and belittles the older years, and those of that age.

Suggestions for Taking a Different Approach:

1.  Discontinue even playfully fibbing or denying your true chronological age.

2.  Praise, honor, and show esteem openly to those who reach milestones of advanced age.

3.  Eliminate quips that knock and mock older age.  Regard such comments as inappropriate.  They are like racist or vulgar words.

4.  Seek the company of older people.  Treasure their observations, opinions, and advice.  Ask older folks to share their story with you.

5.  Select and elect older people for church and community leadership positions.

6.  Change your mind about aging.  Perceive it as a new opportunity rich with new rewards and discoveries.

A Proverb in the Bible says:  "Gray hair is a crown of splendor."

Aging Insights

"How Older People Feel and How they Think about Being Older"

90% are fairly well satisfied with their lives
83% feel they make a good impression
82% say they have gotten what they expected out of life
65% say things seem better than they expected
75% disagree if told this is a dreary time of life

MOST do not get down in the dumps, but instead look forward to good things.
MOST SAY “I’m just as happy as when I was younger.”

MOST say “these are the best years of my life.”
ONLY 5% require nursing home care, ever.

Smile ! A Care and Kindness Concept

         Big Smile, Long Life

                                                                     

People who smile a lot are usually happier, have more stable personalities, more stable marriages, better cognitive skills and better interpersonal skills, according to research. Science has  just uncovered another benefit of a happy face. People who have big smiles live longer.   

Researchers at Wayne State University used information from the Baseball Register to look at photos of 230 players who began their careers in professional baseball before 1950. The players' photos were enlarged, and a rating of their smile intensity was made (big smile, no smile, partial smile). The players smile ratings were compared with data from deaths that occurred from 2006 through 2009. The researchers then correc­ted their analysis to account for other factors associated with longevity, such as body mass index, career length, career precocity and college attendance.                                 |§j

For players who had died, the researchers found longevity ranged from an average of 72.9 years for players with no smiles (63 players) to 75 years for players with partial smiles (64 players) to 79.9 years for players with big smiles (23 players).

This isn’t a bunch of psycho-hooey, the authors said. Smiles reflect positive emotion, which is linked to   physical and mental well-being. But they added: "The data source provided no infor­mation as to whether expressions were spontaneous or in response to a photographer's request to smile. "Still, big smiles are more likely to reflect true happiness than partial smiles.     /

Maybe non-smilers were thinking about their batting averages.

shari.roan@latimes.com

!0 Tips for Helping a Hurting Person

1.  Listen.  That is help them talk about what happened and how they are feeling.

2.  Notice the feelings they are having and talking about.  Feelings are more important than the facts.

3.  Do not try to fix them.

4.  Your body and face should look interested and attentive.

5.  Repeat in words what you see and hear them to be feeling.  Their emotions are most important.

6.  "Name the elephant."  This means you speak of sensitive issues of which you are aware.  You do not avoid sensitive subjects.

7.  "Check Your Story at the Door."  Avoid slipping into talking about your own experiences, some of which might be similar to theirs.  When you do that they may be politely listening to you ionstead of you listening to them.

8.  Pray personally.  That is focus on the crisis and the person's needs and hurts.  Touch, holding the other person's hands, often is meaningful.

9.  Allow, accept, encourage tears.(your own as well as theirs).  The Bible says "weep with those who weep."

10.  Avoid "pat answers", cf. # 3 above "Do not try to fix them".

P.S. Trust the healing presence and love of Jesus.  Healing will happen.   

You Are Far More Than You Think You Are !

The newly installed hospital chaplain, a middle age pastor, exclaimed "I don't have anything to offer her."  He said this as he talked about visiting an extremely ill woman in his hospital.  His words irritated me intensely.

I exploded.  "How can you say such a thing?  You are a Giver of Life, Lifter of Spirits, Healer of Wounds." 
He looked knocked speechless by my outburst.  The words had leaped from my heart because they are realities every one of us must know about ourselves. I had not thought out what I said.  The description just poured out.

That Pastor was speaking for thousands.  He was saying what most people think about themselves in relation to others, especially the hurting. They believe that unless there is some profound wisdom they can share, or insightful sentences they can speak, or maybe a Biblical quote to leave, they have nothing to offer.

Bumper stickers are no longer in fashion but I would like to put this one on every automobile:  I Am a Giver of Life, Lifter of Spirits, Healer of Wounds.  I don't like tatoos very much or I would suggest the same words be tatooed on every forhead.  Because that is what we are!  That is part of what it means to be "the light of the world."  That is our agenda every day, everywhere we gho, with everyone we meet.

Three phrases, twelve words, that encapsulate our entire spiritual agenda.  That is what Jesus wants us to know about ourselves.  When we enter that room, meet a person who is sad or sick, walk with a grieving friend or neighbor we are powerful important and valuable medicine for their souls-just by being there and demonstrating the love of showing up.

The Church of the Horizontal

    “The Church of the Horizontal—is where I was converted to Jesus.”  When I was speaking to a Presbyterian group in Waterloo, Iowa recently, a man told me about his friend’s spiritual experience.  He never went to church with his wife.  He stayed in bed.  One morning while still on his back, he tuned in to The Hour of Power.  It was a total life-changing event.  He gave his life to Christ, and abandoned The Church of The Horizontal forever.