from Peanuts cartoon

Charlie Brown: "Do pretty girls know they are pretty?"
Lucy: "Only if somebody tells them."

Comment: actually a compliment to a pretty girl makes them even prettier. They glow. Kind words are like vitamins. They nourish the spirit, and a lifted spirit makes the entire body healthier. Not only that a happy spirit spreads loving-kindness to others. So a compliment is a wonderful way of creating an ever-expanding chain of good will . It can spread like a prairie-fire of goodness. Here is a beautiful way to create a needed form of global warming.

Soft is Better than Loud

A SOFT ANSWER DOES TURN AWAY WRATH

It’s reassuring to doubters, such as I, to find science reinforcing Biblical ideas. (Don’t get too worried about me. I don’t depend on science for the basic issues.) Here’s a new development I read about in a national magazine: A SOFT ANSWER DOES TURN AWAY WRATH, according to the results of a four-month study of unruly children who were discipline problems in school. Normal and loud teacher reprimands that could be heard by the whole class had no effect on the disruptive behavior of such children. When the teachers switched to soft reprimands that could be heard only by the child being corrected, most of the unruly children misbehaved less often. A return to loud reproaches resulted in an increase in poor behavior, and later a return to soft corrections again resulted in better behavior.

 K. Daniel O’Leary, associate professor of psychology, and a team of graduate students at the State University of New York, Stony Brook, conducted the study.

We who take the Bible so literally might try putting some of its very concrete suggestions into practice – starting with this one.

Thanks to Deborah Norville for this:

The Benefits of Being Consciously Grateful
1. They felt better about their lives as a whole.
2. They were more optimistic.
3. They were more energetic.
4. They were more enthusiastic.
5. They were more determined.
6. They were more interested.
 7. They were more joyful.
8. They felt stronger about handling challenges.
9. They exercised more (nearly an hour and a half more per week).
10. They had fewer illnesses.
11. They got more sleep.
12. They made more [progress toward important personal goals.
 13. They were more likely to have helped someone else.
 14. They were perceived by others to be m0ore generous and helpful.
15. They were less envious of those with more possessions.
16. They were less cluttered.

Other benefits:
A. Clearer thinking—more creativity and openness to ideas.
B. Better resilience during tough times.
C. Higher immune response.
D. Less likelihood of being plagued by stress.
E. Longer lives.
F. Closer family ties.
G. Greater religiousness.

Growth in Kindness

GROWTH IN KINDLINESS

We come now to the next fruit of the Spirit – kindliness.

This is a very homely virtue, homely in the British sense of belonging to the home – a very commonplace, ordinary virtue. And yet it is ordinary as salt, and as essential. Without kindliness there is no virtue in the other virtues. It puts a flavor into all the other virtues; without it they are insipid and tasteless; or worse, they degenerate into vices. Love, joy, peace, good temper; without kindliness are very are very doubtful virtues. So it is no chance that this is the middle virtue of the nine, putting flavor into all the others.

So to grow in kindliness is to grow in virtues that are flavored with a certain spirit. The spirit of kindliness pervades everything. The Old Testament, especially the Psalms, uses the expression “lovingkindness.” A little boy explained the difference between kindness and lovingkindness: “Kindness is when your mother gives you a piece of bread and butter, but it is lovingkindness when she puts jam on it as well.”

But in the New Testament a content has gone into kindness that made the adding of “loving” unnecessary. We have quoted a passage into which the content of Jesus has gone into the words: “Treat one another with the same spirit as you experience in Christ Jesus” (Phil.2:5, Moffatt). Not merely the same actions, but the same spirit in the actions as was in Jesus. This is the high water of morality in this universe. Beyond this the human race will not, and cannot, progress. This is a character and conduct ultimate. This gives kindness a plus – an infinite plus.

And this saves kindness from mere maudlin sentimentality. It can be very severe – severe because He loves so deeply that He often has to save us by hard refusals. And His kingdom can cut – it can cut when, like a surgeon, He insists on cutting out of us moral tumors and cancers. But always His severity is security. It is redemptive. He loves us too much to let us go.

O Christ, show they kindness to me this day even if it be a cutting kindness, for I don’t want leniency; I want life. Amen.

AFFIRMATION FOR THE DAY: I want God to be kind to me in the form that my deepest necessities demand.

It is Finished

It is Finished When The Angel told Joseph of Nazareth that Mary was going to give birth to a son, and his name would be Jesus, The Angel added these words: "He will save his people from their sins". Thirty three years later the carpenter’s son was dying on a wooden cross at a place called Golgotha. There is no evidence that Joseph was still alive, or that he was present, as was his wife, Jesus' mother, Mary. Now as Jesus came to the end of his life he breathed out a sentence that is incredibly important. He said, “it is finished.” It would be natural to consider this to be about his being alive, that his suffering was over, but it was a lot more than that. When Jesus said those three simple words he was announcing that the whole complicated, meticulous system of sacrifices and rituals that were designed to obtain forgiveness of sin was now over. All religions, more than anything else, have majored in laws, systems, practices and rituals designed to satisfy God, or the gods. Paying for sins committed, offering some kind of penance to protect oneself from God, or the gods, was what religion was all about. (This is not totally unknown today, even in Christianity). Meanwhile Divinity was above it all, enjoying heavenly satisfactions, while always threatening to punish, or harm, the people on earth if they neglected their religious obligations. Religion was about keeping the gods happy, or obeying God to avoid damnation or tribulation. Jesus' death on the cross cancelled the need for that anywhere in the world. “It is finished.” Jesus paid the debt of humanity in full, for every human being. The world is changed. It is reasonable to conclude that God in Jesus had something else in mind than to have people preoccupied with rituals, sacrifices, laws designed to keep God from punishing them. When Jesus death was planned, and then carried out, it was a supreme act of love for humanity. It also signaled that there was something else that God/Jesus had in mind for civilization. The sacrificial system had played an important role in keeping people God-conscious, and God serving. But it had deteriorated into rituals and activities that had lost much of their meaning. The sacrifices and rituals had become nearly meaningless for positively directing lives. So God took care of it. “It is finished.” The religious system was turned upside-down. All of this included a powerful new revelation about the nature of God. Rather than understanding God as threatening, punishing, angry, and demanding payment for sins, while enjoying the pleasures of being above it all there was a new revelation. It is that God is Love! The incredible bottom line of Jesus death, and the ending of the sacrificial system, is that God loves people. What will we do with that? A new agenda was another part of Jesus mission. What now if religion is no longer what it was? More about that later.

Did You Know? ------ Kreational Kindness

Environmental Care and Kindness—Loving God’s Creation Did you know… 700 Years---is how long it takes a plastic bottle to degrade in a landfill. 80-100 Years---is the lifespan of an aluminum can in a landfill. 1 Million Years---is the lifespan of a glass bottle in a landfill. 90 Days---is how long it takes a recycled aluminum can to be made into something useful. 14 20-ounce clear plastic water bottles, when recycled, can create one Extra Large T-Shirt.

Drama At the Gas Station

Drama at the Gas Station The lady had a chrome-plated fish symbol neatly fixed to the back panel of her white Lincoln Continental. The name Jesus was spelled out inside the lines defining the shape of the fish. The whole scene is fixed in my memory because the driver, a large blond woman, was very upset with the gas station attendant. He, a small Asian person, had accidentally spilled oil on the fender and motor of her beautiful car, in the process of adding some to the crankcase. There was a hot verbal interchange, I couldn't hear distinctly as I pumped my gas. Then just before she slammed her door and sped away in a huff she bellowed: "Vell, vy don't you people go back to your own country!" I hoped the attendant didn't notice the "Jesus" sign on the back. It was a pathetic scene, but I couldn't keep from laughing at the irony of her words spoken with a heavy European brogue. She had a Christian label on her automobile, but her soul was sour.

Goodness at LAX

Splash, Sprinkle and Spray, the People You Meet It was 6:00 A.M. at LAX airport and I stopped to buy a newspaper at the California Newsstand. I went to the cashier. The woman who waited on me was about 45 years old and she was radiant, friendly, kind, caring, enthusiastic. And I was merely buying the L.A. times for fifty cents! After she gave me my change, and said with a smile, and eye-contact, “have a wonderful day”, I said, “I will have a wonderful day, and you have just made it a lot better.” I was telling the truth. She had lifted my spirits with her warmth and friendliness. She could have been a Christian, or a person with no religion at all, which I doubt. It doesn’t really matter. God loved what she was, and what she did. She was being a light in the world. Whether she knew it or not, God’s beautiful spirit was flowing through her. Kindness and consideration, like she was showing, comes from God. It is Christ-like. Everyone has that potential. We are all full of appreciation, admiration, gratitude and warmth. We need to remember, and intentionally let it spill, sprinkle, and splash on those around us. I was really doused at LAX that morning, and I’m still smiling as I remember that lovely lady. Jim Kok

Post Office Friends

Stamps.Com? No Thanks. What a terrific idea. You can buy your U.S. postage stamps quickly and simply in your own home using your P.C. What a time saver! What a nice solution to fighting the parking problem at the Post Office, and paying for stamps there, after standing and waiting in line for many minutes. Thanks, but no thanks. There is more at stake here than efficiency and convenience. I will continue to visit the U.S. Post Office and buy my stamps there. For one thing I now consider the people behind the counter as my friends. I want to greet them, joke with them, and compliment them. I want to communicate appreciation so that they know they are valued, and even loved. I do not want to abandon them for quick generic postage stamps on the internet. The second reason the Post Office will continue to be a part of my life is the beautiful postage stamps they sell. Sending letters and other mail with a beautiful stamp is a quiet little joy. It feels like sending a gift along with my check to pay a bill. Adding a Mickey Mouse stamp, or one inscribed Alaska with a beautiful snowcapped Mt. Denali, is a tiny little act of beautifying the world. I hope it will add a small touch of brightness to the recipient’s life. The electronic world is amazing and awesome. Our lives have been profoundly blessed by the marvels of the computer and the cell phone. I thank God daily for these inventions. But Stamps.com is not for me. People are more important than quick stamps. JK

A Beautiful Loving Act

I had just completed leading the funeral of a dear woman. We were invited by her husband Dave Cook to come to their house, after the public refreshment hour, to unwind and talk. Linda and I arrived early so I helped myself to some fresh shrimp and a glass of wine and sat down at a large round table off to the side. After sitting there alone a few minutes, maybe five minutes, a young girl suddenly plopped down in an empty chair on the other side of the table. She sat facing me so after a couple of seconds I said “what are you doing here, all by yourself? Her reply really surprised me. She said “I saw you sitting all by yourself and I thought you might like some company” I was stunned. She was a very young girl in her early teens. A few minutes later she told me she was 14. For the next little while I did little more than praise her and express admiration for what she had done. Then we got acquainted and spent some pleasant time chatting. But before we parted I made sure she, and others now gathered nearby, knew what an outstanding and unusual act of loving-kindness that young lady had given.

A Kindly, Gentle People

HANDING BACK THE IRON

The Japanese were brutal, in many cases, during the war, because they were in a framework of militarism. But in the framework of their own social customs they are a very gentle, kindly people. This demands kindness. One custom is striking: If a man’s house burns down, he will immediately go to his neighbor and present him with a present, saying: “I am so thankful that your house didn’t burn down.” Overdone? Perhaps. And yet that spirit of kindness pervading social customs does something to human relationships. I said to a missionary after traveling through over seventy cities in Japan, “Do you know I haven’t seen two Japanese fighting or quarreling?” He replied, “I’ve been here forty years, and I haven’t seen a Japanese quarreling in public. It isn’t done.” Kindness was built into a social system.

All my life I’ve been a traveler, by necessity. And many things happen on journeys, interesting things. But do you know the thing that stands out as an Everest among the peaks of happenings? I was riding on an elephant through the streets of Hyderabad, India. The mahaut was prodding the elephant’s neck with a sharp pronged iron to make it go faster. The iron fell out of its wooden handle onto the street. The elephant, without any apparent signal from the mahaut, turned around, walked back, picked up the iron in its trunk, and handed it back up to the mahaut and then resumed his journey. Handed back an instrument of torment to his tormentor! That was doing good to those who despitefully use you!

And Communists are supposed to be hard and impervious to mere kindness. But they are not. A Christian of Travancore, India, became a Communist, and for ten years he was a leadr in the underground movement. He was put under house arrest. A Syrian bishop and I went to see him. And unfortunately, instead of berating him for leaving Christianity, we treated him with respect, even kindness. Years later when he left Communism, he said that one of the things that made him come back was that visit. Would I visit one who had turned his back on Communism, and talk to him kindly? That simple kindness was one of the things that brought me back to Christ.”

O Father, help me to overlook no opportunity this day of being kind to everybody in every situation. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

AFFIRMATION FOR THE DAY: Kindliness pays, in little ways, for it always says what can’t be said.

An Earthquake can be Good for the Soul

"A Mild Earthquake Is Good For The Soul" Earthquakes can be more unsettling than tornadoes, floods, and fires, even though the damage in the latter is usually horrifying. Earthquakes slam in unannounced. You don’t see them coming. They just happen. Suddenly! There is no place to hide, no way to elude them, nowhere to go. Everything loudly shakes and rolls. Nothing stands firm and solid. Terrified, you wonder, breathlessly, is there more coming? Will it be a big one? Is this "THE BIG ONE?" Earthquakes shake us to the core because they short-circuit our inner security system. Our naturally developed notion of being in charge of our personal safety gets knocked off its foundation. Helplessness defines the moment. We are out of control. The jolting and shaking of an earthquake, like burglary or rape, violently strips away our protective armor, that illusion that we are safe, and in control. Earthquakes dis-illusion us. They rob us of our fantasy of invulnerability. Natural disasters are terrible. The damage, death, and destruction they often bring is too sad and terrible for anything but lament and anguish. On the other hand, an eye-opening jolt of 5.5 on the Richter Scale can awaken those of us whose denial-systems are working too well. Cruising, idling, or drifting along, completely immune and detached, thinking that bad things happen only to other people, is like an illness itself. Earthquakes, for most of us, work as an effective temporary cure for an unrealistic sense of security. Sometimes we are so smug and comfortable even our reach toward God is perfunctory and habitual, more than earnest or somewhat desperate. An earthquake can change that. When there is no place to hide, nothing to be done, and everything could shake apart or crash down on top of us in a few seconds, we may quickly recognize our only True Security. Few things focus the mind as well as a middle-sized earthquake. A 5.5 earthquake instantaneously clarifies what really lasts, what cannot be broken or taken away, a Loving God.

A Thoughtful Surprise Message

My new suitcase was punctured in the baggage compartment of a United Airlines recently. Frustrated, but resigned to my dilemma, I accepted the agent's directions about sending it to Chicago for repair at theior expense. Three weeks later it was returned nicely fixed. It was not as good as new aesthetically, but close enough. I was gratified to have it repaired and returned. As I picked up the cardboard box in which it had been sent, to dispose of it, I noticed a piece of paper inside. I took it out to see what it was. I was expecting a formal delivery or inspection statement. Instead it was a handwritten note addressed to me. This is what it said: Dear Mr. Kok, I hope you like the way your suitcase was fixed. Sincerely, Eula Stuckney I was astounded! I was delighted, cheered, inspired. Here was a personal note of concern for my satisfaction. It came from a total stranger. What a contrast to the way services are often rendered and products produced. Here was the opposite of the "take it or leave it" attitude, too often surrounding our commercial interactions. This was a spirit-lifting, healing experience. Eula Stuckney healed my heart that day. So easy to do, so easy to let it go.

Don't Keep Everything Secret

"A CASE AGAINST PRIVACY IN THE CHURCH and ELSEWHERE" "Rev. I want to tell you something, but you have to keep it confidential. We don't want anyone else to know this." "Sure Pete, you know I'll keep whatever you tell me strictly between us." "Well Rev. our son is an alcoholic. And he's only eighteen. He's getting treatment now and he's dried out at the present time, but you would not believe what hell we've gone through." Keep it confidential! The pastor has just agreed to keep secret something his entire congregation should know about. He allowed himself to be cornered into keeping something private which belongs not to a couple of individuals, but to the whole body of which they are part. This is no isolated experience. It is more common than rare. Congregation members often withhold from their fellow members the hurts, fears, burdens, and also joys and victories of their private lives. It is standard behavior, sad to say. Pete's pain, over his son, is not his private property, if he holds membership in the body of Christ. While Pete is the father, the alcoholic son belongs to the whole congregation. At his birth and baptism Pete's son has been incorporated into the community with promises, spoken or implied, that he would be the object of their love and concern. They pledged to take care of him, to pray for him. He was their son, too. In the physical body, if the infected toe is not felt by the rest of the body, it is likely to go untreated and get worse. That rarely happens. The pain is always felt throughout the whole system and all of our physical resources are mobilized to help heal it. That is how healing happens. Every day some of us innocently conspire to prevent The Body from taking care of its ailing parts. We do this by requesting secrecy and agreeing to keep secret the hurts, concerns, worries, ills, tragedies, occurring in various parts of Christ's body. Not only that we hold close to our vests our own fears, heartaches, and illnesses. One of the marks of Christ's church is bearing each other’s burdens. It is a body! No part is weakened without it affecting the rest, whether they know it or not. A cut toe is never a secret to the rest of the body. We are expected to be open with each other. This is not risk free. It creates an uncontrollable condition of vulnerability because people sometimes mishandle our information. But the blessings far out-weigh the disadvantages, and dangers. It is a key to being cared-for, a beautiful condition. Jesus’ spirit will help us in all our little "churches" - classes, groups, ministries, friendship circles, to model transparency. It allows others to bear our burdens and in doing so strengthens us and The Body of which we are part.

Plan a Positive Response

Every clerk or cashier says it nowadays as they check you out at Home Depot, Walgreens, or Ralphs. They say,usually without eye contact or a smile-"Have a great day." WHAT I SAY:I now have a regular response I always use when a clerk, or anyone, who has been assisting me in some way says that, or “Have a great afternoon” or “Have a great weekend”. I now consistently answer with these words: "Thank you, you have already made it better.” And it is true. Even when muttered unconsciously or insincerely, somehow, that now standard sentence, does touch me a little bit, in a pleasant way. Therefore my response is honest. Plus I say it with the intention of helping the one who said the unthinking blessing to realize it is heard by those to whom it is said.