Is it Kind?

‘IS IT KIND?”

Third, Remember that no other things done can atone for a lack of kindness. Many people excuse themselves for a lack of kindness by pointing to the things they do for someone – “I am working my fingers to the bone for him.” Yes, but the fleshless fingers will not atone for unkind words and attitudes.

Even ministers who work hard but lack this essential kindness are no exception. Paul says: “I prove myself at all points a true minister of God,” and in the twenty-eight things he names, he puts as the fourteenth “kindness” (II Cor.6:4-10, Moffatt). At the very center of all his proofs was “kindness.” If at the center of all our proofs of our being true ministers and workers for God is not kindness, then all the rest is sounding brass and tinkling cymbal.

A prominent man, very ardent and very able and in every way outstanding, was divorced by his wife on the simple statement: “He crushed my personality.” There was an apparently central unkindness. And nothing else could atone for that.

Fourth, Beware of the attitude of criticism which will dry up the springs of kindness. If you take the attitude of criticism, it will put you on the defensive, and you’ll have to set yourself against kindness to justify your criticism. In an atmosphere of criticism, kindness withers and dies. So kill the criticism before it kills the kindness.

In our Ashrams we have this motto among others: “When about to criticize another, ask:
Is it true? Is it redemptive? Is it necessary? Is it kind? If the criticism doesn’t pass the test of kindness, it is unjustifiable.

There are those who feel they are called of God to criticize people into goodness. The Pharisees sincerely tried this and ended in producing not goodness in others, but Pharisaism in themselves. Setting yourself up in judgment produces not the very good Christian, but the very good Pharisee. And the very good Pharisee is an ugly character. Jesus made the very good Pharisee forever unrespectable.

Dear Lord, as I know my own faults, help me to be kindly toward the faults of others. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

AFFIRMATION FOR THE DAY: I can never criticize another into goodness, for I make myself bad in the process.

A New Christmas Card Mission

Next year it is going to be my primary agenda to write affirmitive, encouraging words in and on our Christmas cards. I will ponder each card and the person for whom it is intended and come up with a fitting compliment or blessing. What an opportunity!! Not just a signature, but a spirit-lifting sentence sure to help and even heal the recipient.

I get excited thinking about this campaign. It is like a new mission to brighten people's lives. The card itself is intended to do that, but a few thoughtful words and the spirit of Christmas is truly expressed beyond the benefits of the beautiful card.

Please join me in this. Resolve to change your Christmas card mailing to something even better.

Don't Just Do Something. Stand There.

“Don’t Just Do Something. Stand There.”

We must think of every human being as “the walking wounded” but we are not to think of how we must fix them. Our help is underway when we greet a stranger, show up in kindness and express concern, and interest. But we must leave the fixing to God. It is enough for us to "stand there" in love. We do not have to do much more than that.

God surrounds us with His Presence. God is healing us every moment. That is where we must be present to people, with people. We greet them. We touch them. We smile at them; listen to them; walk with them. We weep with those who weep. That is love and love is God. Love is the Spirit of God flowing through us.

But there is a little more we can do:
In a Peanuts cartoon Charlie Brown asks Lucy: “Do pretty girls know they are pretty?”
“Only if somebody tells them,” says Lucy.

Think about that! It’s a metaphor about life in general.

A compliment to a pretty girl makes them even prettier. Kind words are like vitamins, nourishing the spirit, and a nourished spirit makes the body healthier and inspires the person to their own good deeds. Care and kindness is a brilliant way to create an ever-expanding chain of goodwill spreading like a prairie fire across the world, creating much needed global warming.

"What does the Lord require of you? To act justly. To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8). Here is another biblical teaching, slightly embellished: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is to look after orphans and widows (and strangers, geeks, teenagers, sick people, the walking wounded, the grieving—and everybody else struggling, hurting and handicapped or “handicapable”. (James 1:27).

We can encourage, appreciate, inspire, friends and strangers with loving words, smiles, and compliments and general friendliness. But let’s leave the fixing to God.

Simple instructions for living in "The Second Half "of life.

Grow Older Graciously
“Your Agenda for the Second Half”
The number one step for gracious living at any age, but especially in the Second Half, is to accurately assess how much you have to give that everybody else needs. First, set aside all inappropriate modesty. This is the kind of modesty that belittles yourself with pious sounding self-discounts. For some it is a lifelong bad habit long overdue for change. If you chronically belittle yourself, or if you quietly regard yourself as second-rate or of little value to the human race, it is time to stop. It is not true!
You have something every living human being needs. In the Second Half of your life, when other pressures and responsibilities are changing, and even dropping away, a new opportunity is open and inviting your participation. It is to be an encourager of the younger generation, and your peers. What a great new title to own: “I am an encourager.”
Inside each of us are piles and volumes of unspoken appreciation, admiration, and adoration. Inside us are compliments that have never been expressed. Some we haven’t even noticed in our own hearts. We are carrying kind words aching to be uttered. We have unused smiles to spread everywhere we go. We never run dry. We are full of goodness and loving-kindness waiting to be shared.
There is no human being who cannot use what you are carrying around. Abandon any tendency to think of yourself as of little value in this world. Everyone needs what you have! A few days ago I was visiting at “The Home” and a ninety year old woman came up and identified herself. We chatted and I said to her “You are beautiful!” She glowed like she had been plugged into an electric socket. It was so easy, so natural, so inspiring to her.
Many of us have found our primary identity in our occupation. Therefore retirement can create a puzzle. “Who am I now?” If the answer was always connected to your job, to how you earned money, or your role as a father or mother, you may wonder who are now. At least you may be uncertain about that. Here is the answer.
“You are the light of the world.” says Jesus. There is a fresh and powerful identity. It will never be extinguished. Retirement years can free us for a more deliberate and intentional career brightening our environment. Your work, employment, trade, aided the world but now there is a new opportunity. It is noticing and actively encouraging, listening, appreciating, thanking, cheering people.
Growing older graciously is recognizing in your peers, and all the younger folks around you, their need for some form of spirit-lifting gift. Gracious living finds ways to say “You are a very wonderful young man”—by a note, an e-mail, a card, or word of mouth. Gracious living is giving support and spirit-lifting words at the car wash, the grocery store, the bank, and the Post Office. Graciousness is forgetting yourself and giving to others. You have so much to give! And it will be there until your final breath, no matter how much you give away.

My book The Miracle of Kindness can help you with this agenda..

Vital Reminder

"Appreciative words are the most powerful force for good on earth." George W. Crane

A Touch Can Heal. Care and Kindness dates

“Living Your Faith”

A fresh new slogan will promote our 13th annual Care and Kindness event, March 11, 12, and 13, 2010. . It is “Living Your Faith” because that is the bottom line about this conference. We will use these three words to boldly make it clear that Loving-kindness is at the heart of Christian living. We want to make it very obvious that every individual is “the light of the world” called to shine brightly. And our goal is to help them do that.

Call 714.971.4031 for information about “Living Your Faith”

The Power of a Touch
At a recent dinner/entertainment event which I was hosting something happened I want to tell you about. During the dinner I had strolled around the tables greeting and chatting with the diners, joking and kidding most of the time.

A few weeks after that dinner I met a handsome older man (turned out he is 82 years old) who told me he had been present at the affair. He then told me something that thrilled me to the depths of my soul, and stunned me with its importance. He said that I had walked past him when he was sitting at a table and that I had laid my hand ever so briefly on his shoulder, as I went by. Then he added “That touch absolutely blessed me!” And he said a little more about what a strong moment that had been.

A touch as I walked by! So small! So appreciated! A touch! And he was moved, his spirits were lifted, his mood was changed.

Again I am jolted into awareness of the importance of our Care and Kindness campaign. This is life changing business. This is spreading spiritual medicine everywhere we go. And anyone and everyone is able to take part. It takes so little to heal a soul.

(SP ACK) Special Act of Kindness

Special Act of Kindness (SP ACK) Across the street from our church is a private business. It is relatively inconspicuous because most of it is behind a large old family house turned into the office building. Then there are a half dozen rows of orange trees fronting the property, for about fifty yards, along the street. The working area is down a driveway behind all that. Every day I exit our church property and look directly at that scene. But it is changing. Instead of a chain link fence in front of the orange trees they are constructing a beautiful stone wall out of attractive flat stones slabs. A good looking iron railing graces the top of it. Yesterday as I left for home I noticed a workman, trowel in hand, scraping excess concrete off the stones of the wall. I pulled over and opened my car window. “That is really a great looking wall you have made there. What a wonderful piece of work!” I was surprised at how warmly the man responded. Whoever he was he took total ownership of the project. He stood up, smiled and responded “thank you very much!” I drove home feeling like a million dollars.