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Kindness Korner

Do Pretty Girls Know They are Pretty?

This is The Purpose Filled Life

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I hope in reading this you may gain some new insights and generate some fresh enthusiasm for care and kindness, and being The Light of the World, as Jesus named us. 

I love that word en-thus-iasm.  As you may know the "thus"  in the middle (t-h-u-s) comes from the Greek word Theos.  Theos means "God" in the Greek language.  It is the first part of the word Theology which means God Knowledge,  God-ology.

So en-thus-iasm really means to have God energy, or God inside, that you are a God driven God centered person.  Add enthusiasm to “You are the light of the world”  and we have a mighty important presence.

I was told a few days ago about a women’s Bible Study to which a stranger showed up and took a seat.  The meeting continued on dealing with its agenda and then adjourned.  Rightly behaving Christians would see to it that stranger had thirty people around her welcoming her.  Instead there was one. Okay, that is all it takes, but there should have been 30 concerned women tripping over each other to get to her side.  Instead of one.

My dear friends YOU  must take ownership of this challenge to make the world a better place, to care about strangers, to reach out into uncomfortable places where you’d rather not be.

Many of you have seen the powerful movie The Passion of Christ.  What a comfort shattering experience that is!!  It calls us to suffer too.  It insists that we too give our lives for others.  WE ARE CALLED TO LEAVE THE COMFORT ZONE AND GET HURT IF NECESSARY WHILE TRYING TO BRING HEALING TO OTHERS.

WE MUST DIE FOR OTHERS.  AND WHENEVER WE WALK ACROSS THE ROOM, INTROVERT THAT I may be, and welcome a stranger, as ineptly as I may do it I AM DYING FOR HER. AND IN DYING FOR HER I AM RESUSCITATING HER, RAISING HER A LITTLE, FROM THE DEAD.

I BEG YOU TO TAKE TOTAL OWNERSHIP OF EVERY ROOM YOU SIT IN, OR ENTER.  I BEG YOU TO TAKE LEADERSHIP IN NOTICING WHO IS THERE AND INTENTIONALLY APPROACHING WHOEVER MIGHT POSSIBLY BE ALONE AND ENDEAVOR IN SOME FAULTY, TREMBLING, INARTICULATE WAY IF NECESSARY, TO include them and bring them IN. 

JUST BE THERE!!  We must think of every human being as “the walking wounded”  but our task is not to fix them.   FIXING IS UNDERWAY WHEN WE GREET A STRANGER, OR LIFT THE SPIRITS OF ANYONE.   LEAVE THE  DELIBERATE FIXING TO GOD.  I LIKE THIS PLAY ON WORDS    “Don’t just do something.  Stand there.”

God surrounds us with His Presence while allowing for the God-created natural process to run its course.  AND THAT IS WHERE WE COME IN.  BE THERE!  BE WITH PEOPLE.  Greet them.  Touch them.  Smile at them.  Listen to them.  Walk with them.  Weep with those who weep.

In a Peanuts cartoon Charlie Brown asks Lucy:  “Do pretty girls know they are pretty?”    
                                    “Only if somebody tells them,” says Lucy.

That Peanuts cartoon is a metaphor about life in general.

A compliment to a pretty girl makes them even prettier.  Kind words are like vitamins that nourish  the spirit.  A nourished spirit makes the body healthier and inspires the person to their own good deeds.  So care and kindness is a strategic way to generate an ever-expanding chain of goodwill spreading like a prairie fire across the world, creating much needed global warming.

What does the Lord require of you?  “To act justly. To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God.”  Mic. 6:8

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is to look after orphans and widows (and strangers, geeks, teenagers, sick people, the walking wounded, the aged, the grieving—and everybody else struggling, hurting and handicapped, or diminished. --adapted from James 1:27.


Placebos Can Help

PLACEBO
(Faith Healing)

Pla-ce’-bo (plå-sē’-bő), n. [Latin, “I shall please.”]  Med. A medicine, esp. an inactive one, given merely to satisfy a patient.
                                                            Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary, copyright, 1961

-                      a medication prescribed more for the mental relief of the patient than for its actual effect on his disorder.
Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary, copyright, 1979

The mention of a placebo makes people smile the smile of a shared secret.  It connotes a beneficial little trick pulled on the not-really-sick.  A pill is given tricking the complainer into thinking something truly medicinal has been prescribed.  So believing many have been fooled into feeling better.  At least that’s how we have in the past thought about the placebo.  Recent research indicates there’s much more to it than we’ve supposed.

Apparently when the placebo is taken by some trusting patients, it actually causes the body to heal itself.  When the sick or hurt person with confidence in the medical profession, medicine, scientific effectiveness, pops the placebo pill into his system, the body produces chemicals called endorphins.  One of these is a pain killer more powerful than morphine.  Pain is then reduced or eliminated by the body’s own chemicals, the production of which was stimulated by the placebo taken in faith.

The body heals itself.  The self-healing capacity of our human system is being stressed more and more by medical sophisticates.  The placebo research underscores it in a striking way.  It shows that pulling the right trigger can initiate self-healing.

Throughout all of history healing has occurred in ways that defy modern science’s self-confidence.  While some may come straight from God, many others may come from Him through the mysterious miracles of faith in a practitioner, an herb, a touch, an incantation that triggers the self-healing potential of the human body.

If the trusting patient can be helped by a placebo in the form of a medicine it becomes obvious that faith in the healing power of God, or the hand of a praying person, or a drop of olive oil, could also release, or speed up the healing powers created in the person.

Primitive people have always responded to “unscientific” healing ventures.  Civilized Americans who have trusted science above all could hardly profit from anything but the productions of laboratories.  As we see the scientific evidence of the body’s self-healing capacities even we modern people may find ways in which faith can heal.  We may begin again to ask that the elders lay their hands on us, pray over us, and maybe even put the oil on us, believing with scientific basis that such love, care, attention, may trigger the healing process God has created within us.

Research on Prayer

Research on Prayer for Seeds

A few years ago some people decided to do research on prayer. They believed prayer could affect any living thing- plant, animal or human being. They decided to start with plants; more specifically seeds.

In their first experiment they spread a large number of seeds, immersed in water, on two cookie sheets. One tray they then prayed over intensively, for three days. The other seeds were allowed to germinate without special attention.

The results were astounding. The prayed over seeds germinated far more promptly, and more completely, than the seeds that were left alone.

They decided to push it further. They added a third tray. This one included the seeds and water but they added salt to the water. Adding salt to the water was like making the seeds sick because salty water is harmful to living seeds and plants.

To their surprise the salty seeds, that were prayed for, did germinate and even more rapidly than those in clean water.

The conclusion they drew was that prayer may be especially beneficial to the ill and injured, like the sickened seeds in the salt water. Their neediness may make them the best candidates for prayerful care. An interesting and provocative thought about prayer. It may be most powerful with the weakened.

When Are the Twelve Days of Christmas?

“When are The Twelve Days of Christmas?”

We love to sing that joyful, and slightly humorous, song at Christmas time.  But does anyone know what those twelve days are about?  Is it part of Advent?  Or maybe it is just a random number around which someone has created an enjoyable song.

It is not a random number.  The days are not about Advent.  The twelve days refer to a specific period of time after Christmas.  After Christmas!  They are the days between December 25 and January 6 to be exact.  Here is what they stand for—

Our Christmas is December 25.  The Wisemen arrived on January 6.  We give our gifts to each other on December 25th but in a major part of Europe, especially Eastern Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Christians present their gifts on January 6.  That is the day the Magi presented their gifts to the baby Jesus, Joseph, and Mary.  In northern Europe gifts are given starting on December 25, and every day, continuing until January 6.  This is the origin of the song-a gift every day.  


January 6 is  known as Epiphany.  Epiphany is a Greek work that means “to reveal”.  In the Christmas-Epiphany season it is the revelation of God’s incredible love to humanity that is revealed.  The Wisemen from the East represent God’s gift of The Christ Child to the Gentiles, to all of us. 

As we sing the joyful “Twelve Days of Christmas” now we know it is about God’s wonderful gift celebrated on Epiphany.
 

The Twelve Days of Christma -explained

“The Twelve Days of Christmas”-explained

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.
It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching,  Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness,  Faithfulness,
 Gentleness, and Self Control.
-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So there is your history for today.

--

A Kindness Suggestion for Christmas Time

Last night, at about 8:00, I stopped at a home, the residents of which were strangers to me.  I rang the door bell and a man came to the door.  He looked puzzled by my presence, which he should have been.  I greeted him and simply said "I just stopped to tell you how much I appreciate the Christmas lights on your house and bushes.  This is the most beautiful display in the neighbeorhood.  Thank you!"

 He smiled in appreciation and explained a little about how long he has been doing it and how he got started.  But the main thing is that he was patted on the back by a stranger for making the world, at Christmas, a more beautiful place.

Go and do likewise, my friends.  I felt like a million dollars after that stop.  And I think he did too.
 X-MAS
When I was a child I was told that to write X-mas instead of Chistmas was bad. X-mas was, the teachers said, an unbelievers way of having "Christmas" but leaving Christ out.
My children, thirty years later, carry home the same woeful tale.
Guess what! It isn't true! For one thing the X in X-mas isn't really an X. It is the Greek letter chi(ki), transliterated as kh and representing the Greek word Khristos, which is Christ, of course.
So X-mas is really Christmas too. If you don't believe me look up X-mas in the dictionary. Uh, unfortunately, you have to look it up under the letter X.
IXTHUS
Speaking of Greek, do you know what IXTHUS means? It is the Greek word for fish. So what!? Well now for the first time you may understand why a fish is a well-known symbol of Christianity. Here is why: the first letter of the Greek word for fish is the first letter of the Greek word for Jesus, (I) lesus. The second letter X, stands for the word Xristos (Christ). The two letter TH stand for THEOS (GOD). The U stands for the Greek word for Son (Uios). The final letter S stands for the Greek word Savior (soterios).
Put it all together and the letters of the word give this message:
I - Jesus X - Christ TH - god's U - Son S - Savior
So IXTHUS (FISH) = a symbol of Christianity,

Bethlehem and Bedlam

Bedlam (bed’lam) N. 1.  Any place or situation of noisy uproar and confusion.  2.  A lunatic asylum; madhouse.  (Middle English).  Bedlam, Bethlehem, Hospital of St. Mary of Bethlehem, in Southwestern London, which was an asylum at one time.
                                                                                    American Heritage Dictionary




BETHLEHEM AND BEDLAM

Isn’t it ironical that the word which describes a place of noise and confusion – bedlam – is a corruption of the name of that town from which came the source of “peace on earth and good will toward men.”

Many years ago in England there was a hospital called St. Mary of Bethlehem, a hospital for the mentally ill.  In those days the treatment and conditions of such places was horrible.  They were indeed places of hopeless confusion and despairing noise.  And so anything which vaguely reminded anyone of that place was referred to as “Like Bethlehem” and eventually for ease of expression it became “Bedlam.”

But you know such hospitals aren’t Bedlam anymore.  Science has quieted them with its miracles and brought hope to the hopeless.  Finally, Christ has come into these Bedlams.  For it is the spirit of Christianity, not a relentless marching of science, and the spirit of Christ-like concern for suffering people that has propelled man to do something for his despairing brother.

In those places of the world where Christ has not yet penetrated the hearts of men, Bedlam still exists.  In those places in this country where Christ is no longer known, Bedlam is returning.  So, too, it is in the hearts of people everywhere, in your heart and mine, when the Christ of Bethlehem is born within us and “grows in wisdom and stature” Bedlam goes and peace enters.

God in a Cave

(Christmas Meditation)

GOD IN A CAVE



Those who study such things closely insist that the manger of Jesus’ birth was in a café and not in a barn-like structure.  It really doesn’t matter.  But there is something fanciful in the thought of His coming as a cave-dweller.  We are reminded of those cavemen of ancient history of whom we find traces by finding drawings of animals on the walls of their former homes.

And now we have another drawer of animals.  He who traced the shape of animals and man and brought them to life now is found in a cave Himself.  What a paradox!  That the hands that had made the sun and stars were now too small to reach the heads of the cattle.  Upon this paradox all of our faith is built.  It is such an extreme conjunction.  The world creator and a baby boy, Omnipotence and impotence, divinity and infancy.  It is such a remarkable combination that a million repetitions cannot make it sound trite or common.  Perhaps it is one of the few circumstances qualifying for the title “unique”.  (cf., G.K. Chesterton:  Orthodoxy).

The common man has been wrong in many things throughout history and has been scorned by the educated cosmopolitans who deal with lofty thoughts and cold reasonings and logical conclusions and unfathomable abstractions.  But the common man was close to being correct when in his pagan worship he had been promoting the idea that divinity could be seen and could live in the limits of time and space.  For in the cave where the manger was, God was dwelling.  God in a cave.  A revolution, the world turned upside down.  For Heaven was under earth.


The 12 Days of Christmas--explained

“The Twelve Days of Christmas”-explained

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a secret catechism song for young Catholics.It has two levels of meaning: First there is the surface meaning.  Then there is a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

1.  The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
2.  Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
3.  Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
4.  The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
5.  The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
6.  The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
7.  Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching,  Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
8.  The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
9.  Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness,  Faithfulness,
 Gentleness, and Self Control.
10.  The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
11.  The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
12.  The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.
IT’S EASIER TO LIVE BY FAITH IF YOU’VE HAD A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP


Sometimes cutting short your sleep to commune with God may, in fact, undermine your ability to live close to God.  A tired person is more vulnerable to temptations than the wide-awake.  The weakened body is more apt to be plagued with devil-pleasing self-doubt than one fed and rested.

Quiet times for prayer, meditation and reflection may aid the Christian walk, but the notion that “more of the same” will continue to produce positive results is faulty.

The spiritual growth we aspire to cannot take place separate from sound care for the whole person.  Holistic ideas about the interconnection of spirit and body are surprisingly common--sensical when we see it this way:

·        It’s easier to feel close to God when the Excedrin has taken my headache away.

·        Faith soars when the air is fresh and I’m biking briskly on a bright spring morning.

·        After a cup of coffee my spiritual condition is always improved.

Spiritual inspiration and enthusiasm can be mediated by physical interventions and activities.  This being true, faith builders will not only implore their adherents to worship in the traditional forms, including Bible study, prayer, meditation and song.  They will also encourage (Excedrin?  Caffeine?) the health-care of the body, spirit and emotions through exercise, vacations and travel, hospitality, friendship, good-deed projects, enjoyment of the arts, folk-dance, the appreciation of beauty in nature and craftsmanship, ecological conscientiousness (harmony with nature-creation), reading, hobbies, gardening, care and kindness.

Confident that “everything affects everything else” the growing Christian will be one designing a well-rounded life-style,  free of concern that some pastimes, while well-enjoyed, may be unspiritual.  Spirit-raising pastimes bring us closer to God-pleasing service.




Have Fun at Christmas

Have Fun at Christmas!!

It is the fashion about this time each year to begin Christmas shopping.  We may load our pockets with cash, and our hearts with guilt.  Some folks have been brought up on warnings and admonitions every time there is a time of fun. Some Christians don’t know how to have fun, unless it is sprinkled and spiced with guilt.  It is as if they must be more serious, thrifty, concerned about others.  As the Christmas season opens, writers and speakers in the Christian community say, in one way or another, like our parents did when we went out for an evening of fun, “Now be careful!”  So now it is  “Have a Merry Christmas, but not too merry, not too joyous, not too much fun.” 

Again we will hear about over-commercializing Christmas, putting Christ back into Christmas, the paganism of the Christmas tree, tinsel as the symbol of superficiality, cash registers as the symbol of what Christmas has become.  Necessary correctives perhaps, but we need more of the opposite. We need encouragement to have fun, let our joy bloom, even be foolishly full of fun, or extravagant.  Isn’t that what the heart of Christmas is, namely, “joy to the world”.

I will never forget an incident from our first year of marriage.  Linda and I were living in Ann Arbor and our lives became intertwined with a family of desperately poor people.  A mother, and four children all of school age.  They lived in abject poverty.  They had broken windows, very little money, a sickly mother, and a house that was hardly livable.  But when Christmas came the children had through odd jobs accumulated a little money and they invited us to come over on Christmas Day to see the gift they had bought for their mother.  They were very excited about it.

  So we went to their house, carrying in our minds some vague expectations of what kind of a gift they had bought for her.  Perhaps a warm coat, a new purse, or maybe an electric frying pan, or a toaster.  Instead we were knocked over with surprise and chagrin.  They had us close our eyes as they went into the next room to get the gift.  Then they brought from behind the curtain the gift.  It was a huge stuffed donkey about five feet tall!  It must have cost them $25 or $35 (1962).  They were thrilled.  We were stunned but acted like we were pleased.  In fact we thought it was a very “stupid” gift.  Of all the things she needed, that was the least.

Still, as we thought about it, there may have been something right in that kind of gift..  Here they were in their poverty hardly anything they could have bought of a practical nature would have changed their status significantly.  So why not buy something totally enjoyable just for the fun and excitement of giving it?

A little of that that has to go into the Christmas season. Instead of hand-wringing and furrowed brows about the fun we’re having when there are poor people dying on the other side of town, maybe a little reckless happiness is called for. Christians must be thoughtful and give to those other kind of concerns, but there is something bottomless about that pit.  There is a time for unrestrained Christmas foolishness, impractical fun.  Forget, the shaking fingers and historical surveys about the paganism of the Christmas tree.  Enjoy Christmas and have fun.  Christ lives! Relax and enjoy Christmas freely and fully, uncluttered by guilt.




Christmas Without Guilt

CHRISTMAS WITHOUT GUILT

It is the fashion about this time each year to begin Christmas shopping.  We may  load our pockets with cash and our hearts with guilt.  Some folks have been brought up on warnings and admonitions every time there is a time of fun. Some Christians don’t know how to have fun, unless it is sprinkled and spiced with guilt.  It is as if they must be more serious, thrifty, concerned about others.  As the Christmas season opens, writers and speakers in the Christian community say in one way or another, like our parents did when we went out for an evening of fun, “Now be careful!”  So now it is  “Have a Merry Christmas, but not too merry, not too joyous, not too much fun.”  The message from within, or from others, is one of restraining joy, inhibiting happiness and curtailing free-spiritedness.  As a result we may never be sure whether fun is okay, legitimate or appropriate.

So again we will hear about over-commercializing Christmas, putting Christ back into Christmas, the paganism of the Christmas tree, tinsel as the symbol of superficiality, cash registers as the symbol of what Christmas has become.  Necessary correctives perhaps, but we need more of the opposite. We need encouragement to have fun, let our joy bloom, even be foolishly full of fun, be extravagant.  Such messages get back to what the heart of Christmas is, namely, joy to the world.

I will never forget an incident from our first year of marriage.  Linda and I were living in Ann Arbor and our lives became intertwined with a family of desperately poor people.  A mother and four children, all of school age.  They lived in abject poverty.  Broken windows in the winter, very little money, a sickly mother, and a house that was hardly livable.  When Christmas came the children had through odd jobs accumulated a little money.  By phone they invited us to come over on Christmas Day to see the gift they had bought for their mother.  They were very excited about it.

  So we went to their house, carrying in our minds some vague expectations of what kind of a gift they had bought for her.  Perhaps a warm coat, a new purse, or maybe an electric frying pan, or a toaster.  Instead we were knocked over with surprise and chagrin.  They had us close our eyes as they went into the next room to get the gift.  Then they brought from behind the curtain the gift.  It was a huge stuffed donkey about five feet tall which must have cost $25 or $35 at that time (1962).  They were thrilled.  We were stunned.  We had all we could do to generate a little excitement with this “stupid” gift.  Of all the things she needed, that was the least.

Still, as we thought about it, there may have been something symbolically right in that kind of giving.  Here they were in their poverty.  Hardly anything they could have bought of a practical nature would have changed their status significantly.  So why not blow it on something totally useless just for the fun and excitement of buying and giving it?

A little of that that has to go into the Christmas season, instead of all the hand-wringing and furrowed brows over whether or not the fun we’re having is appropriate when there are people dying on the other side of town,. whether the money we are spending could better be sent to a place where people are starving or deprived in some other way.  Indeed Christians must be thoughtful and give to those kind of concerns.  But there is something bottomless about that pit.  There is a time for unrestrained Christmas foolishness, impractical fun, the stopping of all the shaking fingers and historical surveys about the paganism of the Christmas tree.  Forget it.  Enjoy it, and have fun.  Christ lives!

The incarnation of Jesus speaks to that human condition of weak, foolish, inconsistent, materialistic people and He comes into our condition and says “Celebrate!”  The Lord God loves our world and is caring for it.  We can relax and enjoy Christmas freely and fully, uncluttered by guilt.



You Can Change the World !

It doesn’t require wealth, talent, or a huge investment of time.  Right now, you  with your current limitations and abilities, have tremendous power to impact others and change the world.
Have you ever had a day in which everything you touched went wrong?  When you were at the end of your rope, and someone spoke a kind word, or helped you?  Do you remember how it warmed your heart and perked up your spirit?   Small, loving acts make a profound difference.   Everyone longs to feel noticed, appreciated, supported.
That’s why it means so much when someone surprises us with a simple act of caring.  It assures us that we matter.
Discouraged people are everywhere. They need us.  Don’t overlook opportunities to make a difference in someone’s life. A smile, a note, or a phone call won’t take much effort, but they can make someone’s day.   Not only will your kindness be appreciated by the recipient and rewarded by God, but it will enrich your own life as well.  Many say, “I’m just one person.  I can’t make a difference.”  If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a hug just when it’s needed, you know one person’s concern is powerful.   Do you compare your contribution to a tiny drop of water in the huge ocean?  Mother Theresa’s view was that the ocean would be less without that one drop.  
There could be no mountains, if not for the tiny grains of sand from which the mountains are made.  Little things pack a big punch.  Encouragement takes only a moment to give but it delivers an important message of love and concern to the recipient, and it could last a lifetime.  Your empathy, interest, and encouragement can lessen someone’s load and make their life journey easier.  You can change their world and that makes the whole world better.
 

Confession is Good

Self-Care “Confession Is Good for the Soul – and the Body” When persons are hit by a devastating event, pastors and counselors encourage talking about the feelings. It is believed this is good for a positive recovery. Careful study of the Book of Psalms reveals that it helps people to talk out their angers, hurts, fears and rage. The Psalms are full of cries to God about feelings of depression, sadness, anger, loneliness and rejection. They are written evidence God expects and recommends giving voice to our anguish.

 For examples, look at Psalms 13, 22, 42, 88 and 109. The difference in The Psalms is that the outrage is aimed at God and then given to God and left with God. Then in most of The Psalms healing happens. Change occurs, and the next thing is that the devastated person is praising God. Research in the 20th century confirms the healing power of opening up about trauma. Those who do not disclose were found to have significantly more health problems than those who talk. Even writing about one’s trauma is beneficial to health. Patients who wrote for fifteen minutes on four consecutive days showed short term benefits and long term decreases in health problems.

Confession is good for the soul.  So is lament, crying out to God, and trusted friends.  Shedding our tears and speaking our anguish can relieve us of unhealthy burdens.,

Our Table Devotions

“Table Devotions”

One family tradition we tried to establish was reading the Bible at the evening meal.  This started with Jim(Dad)  reading and as the kids learned they each took a turn.  Each holding their own Bible.

After awhile five of us were taking a turn.  Linda opted out, claiming exhaustion, and Steve, still illiterate, creating his own Bible story. 

We had one New testament named something like “Today’s New Testament” which was modern English but also included a lot of drawings.  There was a drawing, cartoon-like, on almost every page.  That was Steve’s Bible.  Steve would look at the picture and make up a story.  They were thoughtful, creative and somewhat related to the picture, but usually a long way from what the real story was about.  Often they were so far out the rest of us were gagging on our laughter, trying to hold back, while very amused but trying to be reverent..  Steve was quite serious about what he was saying so we did not want to discourage him with laughter.

Those were good positive devotional times that may have done as much good as staying close to the literal word.

Thank Someone This Month






“THANK SOMEONE THIS MONTH”
 "Thanksgiving" cards are great. What an appropriate time to sit down and think of a number of people who have given us something, or contributed to our lives in some way major or minor, and then make a point of a straightforward, unashamed state­ment of appreciation.
The most, meaningful "thank you" would be those sent to friends and relatives who are so close they'd never expect such a card from us. Parents can say "thank you" to their children for "all you have done for us."  We can draw up lists of old experiences from our years at home that have stayed treasured in our memories - and thank dad or mom for them. Most likely there would be a lot of memorieas and events they'd never suspect meant a lot to us, even decades later.
We can think of our spouse--husband or wife and all those things we appre­ciate but are so accustomed to we expect from them. Write down specific items and say "thank you."
 Perhaps there is a neighbor whom you have always appreciated. Not a fantastic person in the spectacular-sense. Just a neighbor who has been what a neighbor "ought to be"- friendly, reliable, cooperative. He won't listen when you tell him straight out how much you're thankful for him. So send him a "thank you" card. Or maybe there's a colleague or a co-worker to whom we should say "thank you".
Stop a few minutes. Trace your steps through an average day, week, year, or your life, 'til now.  How surprising isn't it, how many stand out as people who have made life good, just by being part of our lives. Thank some of them this month, and express gratitude to God for the people in your life.

Spill Interest on Young Ones

Beware of the Infection of Self-Centeredness

As we grow older there is a tendency to drift into preoccupation with ourselves: our health, our physical problems, our sleep, money, trips, grandchildren and more.  The process also may include losing interest in others—their trips, interests, accomplishments, new items.

There is little as pleasant as another person taking interest in our lives.  So it is essential that as we grow older, and the self-centered drift progresses, that we resist it.  It often requires a deliberate decision to move in that direction. Not only does such a choice thrill the ones we show interest in, it is also an antidote against an older-person malady (me-ism) that turns others off.

Becoming a giver may require upgrading our self-concept.  We must believe this truth—“I am a reservoir of blessings”.  We are all full of goodness and must be ready to overflow with nourishment for the souls of younger folks. 

It doesn’t matter who you are, or how healthy, educated, wealthy or attractive.  You have within you words, interest, stories and expressions that can make a wonderful positive difference in the lives of younger men and women.  We are all potential healers. Check that self-centered drift, and spill loving interest on some young ones.  It can be life-giving to them, but it will always be spirit-lifting to us as well.

AS WE GROW OLDER WE MUST DELIBERATELY TAKE THE SPOTLIGHT OFF OURSELVES AND TURN IT ON OTHERS.
       

KOK'S LAW

                                                                KOK’S LAW
“Kok’s Law” came into being as a means of survival in intimidating circumstances. No doubt others have stumbled on its genius, too, but I am the first to state it as a law.

Remember all the times you sat in class as a college student tongue-tied with fear of volunteering the answer you had in mind? Then you melted in hot self-hate as you heard another speak exactly what you had thought, and she received high praise? Recall the many hunches, intuitions, ideas you’ve had but left unspoken or ignored because you lacked the confidence to speak about them or do something with them?  Then you read or heard them stated by someone else and received admiration?   “Kok’s Law” will help.

“Kok’s Law” was born one Saturday morning as I sat in a committee meeting planning a conference program. The chairman was a forceful, confident appearing person who had a load of ideas. He was on his way toward setting up the program all by himself, as the rest of us passively agreed. Then it hit me! I was aware in my heart and in my head that I was experiencing considerable distress and dis-ease. As I listened to my “guts” I heard howls of anger and objections. I didn’t like much of what the chairman was authoritatively hammering into place, I realized, but there I was nodding assent.

Then came the second revelation: If I’m feeling this way I’ll bet at least a couple of these other "yes-men" are, too. Assuming this was true, I thought I should speak up, because I’m sure to get support. So I spoke. Immediately the others joined in! The dominating chairman listened. In a fresh way the program was planned. Everything was  changed for the better.

“Kok’s Law” was born: If I am thinking something, or feeling something, at least half the others in a group or meeting are likely to be having the same thoughts or feelings!

Of course some people don’t need help to take a risk and speak up. Others of us do. We should remember the high probability that support will be present. That may be all some of us need to gain the courage to trust our hunches, ideas, opinions, feelings and step up to the podium, or take action. Kok’s Law used discreetly can give us the nudge many of us need.

Here is another example. Have you ever been in a room with other people when you felt very warm? What do you usually do? You look around and ask “Is it warm in here?” Kok's Law says-If you’re warm at least half the others are warm too – unless you’re getting the ‘flu or catching a cold.

Kok’s Law has become my faithful companion. It has helped me score in numerous situations where my natural self-consciousness used to limit me and hold me back. The thesis underlying Kok’s Law is that I’m a somewhat normative human being with sensitivities and responses similar to those found in at least half of the population, of which I am usually part.

I give you Kok’s Law to use carefully. I guarantee it will work at least half the time.

Bring Heaven to Earth

A Wonderful Possibility

Bringing Heaven to Earth:   Jesus prayer is challenging us with these words: “… your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
What an enormous project that is, to bring the goodness, beauty, love, of heaven to our life on earth. That is  what Christian living is about. We are here to make the world a better place. Life is more about bringing heaven to earth than about waiting to go to heaven. In heaven we will feel good about ourselves, confident, unafraid, loved and valued all the time. We will love everyone and understand life, nature, and history.  We will be bathed in beauty and loveliness, and a lot more. "On earth as it is in heaven" means for us to be working at making life more peaceful, loving, secure, efficient, comfortable, beautiful, just, and interesting.. That is our task as followers of Jesus. What a wonderful assignment! Every small, medium, or large act of kindness, creativity, diligence, and perseverance contributes to the goal.

Aging: Security vs Risk

The Joy of Aging is Balancing Security and Risk

All of life is a drama of balancing ourselves between security and risk.  There are wonderful delights in being secure.  There are special joys in taking risks.  And there are dangers and hazards in both.

Traditionally the enticements of risk win more with the younger generation.  The joys of security are more attractive to us as we age.  As a result there are more crashes among the young as they take risks, and more stagnation among the old, as we try to be safe and secure. 

Risk taking, and indifference to security, can produce an exciting roller-coaster ride, but such adventures often end back where they started-nothing gained but it was an exciting ride.  But not always is there a lack of gain.  The old axiom is true:  “nothing ventured nothing gained”.  Most growth is the result of breaking out and trying something at least slightly unpredictable and uncertain.

Too much concern with security can add up to tidy bank accounts and neat surroundings, but they may leave the participants  feeling shallow and  even somewhat bored.  Life and growth  seem to depend on trying some new or unproven ventures.

The challenge of aging is to keep on growing. That means continuing to be enticed by the attractions of risk taking.  that guarantees continued growth.  At the same time our health and well-being can be protected by a relatively wholesome amount of security.

When we stop growing we die.  We are expected as God’s people to see life as a continual growth process right up to the time we transition to Jesus’ arms in heaven.  Life  is not to be a challenge up to retirement and then a time of coasting, a downhill slide to the grave. Rather than slowly disconnecting and detaching from our surroundings we must continue to be transformed by the renewal of our minds.  We must never wholly give in to the comforts of the rocking chair and the T.V. but forever keep alive an openness to new adventures and opportunities for enjoying and brightening our world.

(Soon I will blog some ideas about how we can continue to grow even in advanced senior years).



Faith and A Good Night's Sleep

IT’S EASIER TO LIVE BY FAITH IF YOU’VE HAD A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP

Sometimes cutting short your sleep to commune with God may, in fact, undermine your ability to live close to God. A tired person is more vulnerable to temptations than the wide-awake. The weakened body is more apt to be plagued with self-doubt than one fed and rested.

Quiet times for prayer, meditation and reflection aid the Christian walk, but the notion that “more of the same” will continue to produce positive results is faulty.

The spiritual growth we aspire to cannot take place separate from sound care for the whole person.

• It’s easier to feel close to God when the Excedrin has taken my headache away.

• Faith soars when the air is fresh and I’m biking briskly on a bright spring morning.

• After a cup of coffee my spiritual attitude is always improved.

Spiritual inspiration and enthusiasm can be mediated by physical interventions and activities. Faith-builders will not only implore their adherents to worship in the traditional forms, including Bible study, prayer, meditation and song. They will also encourage the health-care of the body, spirit and emotions through exercise, vacations and travel, hospitality, friendship. Spiritual growth is the product of good-deed projects, enjoyment of the arts, folk-dance, the appreciation of beauty in nature and craftsmanship, ecology efforts, reading, hobbies, gardening.

Confident that “everything affects everything else” the growing Christian will be one designing a well-rounded life-style. Spirit-raising pastimes can bring us closer to God-pleasing service.













The World is Better

In 1975 three of four people in the world had no access to clean water. Now three of  four do have it.

Thirty years ago the adult global literacy rate was 53%. Now it is 80%.

In 1980 the consensus shared by experts was that 80% of the world’s people lived in substandard housing. Today the estimate is 25% are in substandard housing.

Thirty years ago one in eight children died in their first year of life.  Today it is one in sixteen.

Your Smile Can Heal


I was walking in the Mall pondering a couple of discouraging encounters earlier in the day. A young boy suddenly was blocking my path and I slowed to step around him. He greeted me with a warm smile and a wave of his hand. I couldn’t help but smile back, and suddenly I realized my mood had lifted. I also reflected on the fact that the youth was a youngster with Downs Syndrome. He had healed me of my blue feelings—with a smile.

Every one carries a smile. Too many are unused, or too rarely used. Smiles are instant inoculations of loving-kindness. And every one needs them constantly. Each of us walks through life carrying this powerful medicine, and we have the opportunity to lift spirits and heal discouraged souls everywhere we go.

 1. Believe your smile can heal another person.
 2. Decide to give it to people you meet—clerks, mechanics, people you meet.
 3. Trust that they will feel brightened by your kind act.
 4. Enjoy this new agenda for everyday living.

Living Our Loving Kindness

When we talk asbout Care and Kindness we are not just trying to motivate a lot of people to go around doing good deeds and acting friendly.  That is only part of what it is about.  The big picture is being The Body of Christ, the church.  We are expected to be a contrast to society in general.  We are asked to be more conspicuopusly kind and thoughtful toward one another.  The idea is that we look attractive to those who are not part of it.  That is what happened in the early church and Pagan people were attracted.  The Pagan religion disappeared and the Christian community expanded in an amazing way--mostly because they were living their loving kindness.

Go to Jesus for the Holy Spirit

To become what God expects of us we need the Holy Spirit of Jesus to guide us, motivate us, strengthen us, inspire us.  This is possible.  We acquire the Holy Spirit by meeting, knowing, following Jesus.

A regular diet of Jesus will fill our hearts with loving-kindness, and the courage to deliver care and kindness  of major and minor dimensions every day, everywhere.

Soft Answers

A SOFT ANSWER DOES TURN AWAY WRATH

It’s reassuring to doubters, such as I, to find science reinforcing Biblical ideas. (Don’t get too worried about me. I don’t depend on science for the basic issues.) Here’s a new development I read about in Look magazine:

A SOFT ANSWER DOES TURN AWAY WRATH, according to the results of a four-month study of unruly children who were discipline problems in school. Normal and loud teacher reprimands that could be heard by the whole class had no effect on the disruptive behavior of such children. When the teachers switched to soft reprimands that could be heard only by the child being corrected, most of the unruly children misbehaved less often. A return to loud reproaches resulted in an increase in poor behavior, and later return to soft corrections again resulted in better behavior. K. Daniel O’Leary, associate professor of psychology, and a team of graduate students at the State University of New York, Stony Brook, conducted the study.

We who take the Bible so literally might try putting some of its very concrete suggestions into practice – starting with this one.

An Unusual Sin

                                   THE SIN OF RUINING GOOD DAYS

Lady:   When I throw away spoiled food from the refrigerator it makes me feel guilty all day.

Pastor:   A day spoiled by feeling guilty is a far greater waste than a few items of food being thrown away.

How typical --unable to accept my imperfection I gloom around for days over a mistake thereby corrupting hundreds of precious hours – a far greater sin.

Who do I think I am if a little flaw gets me down. I must in fact think I’m pretty good – if that can ruin my day.

May God help me to throw away my mistakes, forgive myself, and charge cheerfully and confidently ahead determined not to waste the day with unnecessary guilt.



Saint Thomas Edison

Have you ever seen the inventor of the Electric Light Bulb called Saint?  I haven't.  I have never seen his picture on the cover of a Christian periodical either.  Nor have I read anything lifting up this man as an instrument of God. 

Thomas Edison was raised in a Christian home but as he invested himself in his innumerable inventive projects his life showed little interest in church-going or other conventional Christian activities.  Is that why he is not hailed and honored by the Christian community?  He wasn't a conventionally involved "Man of God".

A more apprpriate regard for Thomas Edison, "the illuminator of the world" is to see him as a uniquely capable Instrument of God.  Christianinty and all of the world should regard him as one through whom the creative wonders of God have flowed to bring an enormous blessing to humanity.

His goodness, his genius, his creative abilities should be praised, and honored by Christians.  The fact that he was not a God-worshipping, church-going Christian is irrelevant.  That is too bad, but it does not disqualify him as one of the great Saints of history--if Saint is understood as someone through whom God has worked to make the world a better place.

It is easy to add a lot of names to this list of Saints who were not necessarily aware of the goodness of God that was flowing through them.  What a beautiful message the Christian Church could send by honoring, praising and commemorating the contributions of these people who have made the world a better place---Jonas Salk, Firestone,  H.J.Heinz, Henry Ford....  The list is endless.

God loves the world.  His presence is seen perfectly in dying for us, but beyond that his love is seen in healing, beautifying, improving, facilitating, that have made human life more pleasant, hopeful and enjoyable.  And his instruments, whoever they are, should be seen as servants of God, or Saints--whether they knew it or not.  

Kindness Bridges Chasms

KINDNESS BRIDGES CHASMS

We come now to our last step in growth in kindness.
Since kindness is power, I’m going to exercise this kind of power and only this kind of power, in every situation. Many wonder if kindness is power. They try to rule situations by threats. But threats soon wear out. No one is ever really changed by threats. Only by kindness can people be changed. Look back over your life and see who are the people who have influenced you and how. You’ll find kindliness at the basis of all influence over you.

A German pastor stood looking out over the ruined city of Frankfurt, now slowly rising again. His eyes were wet with tears as he told me of a pastor and his yound people who came to Germany from America for the summer to help rebuild the ruins. They were obviously not used to this hard manual labor, but they heroically toiled beside German laborers. Some of the girls, dead tired at eventide would throw themselves upon their beds and go straight to sleep. The German workmen were at first non-communicative, but gradually they saw the motives behind it all. Then one day, said the pastor, he saw a German workman take out of his pocket a piece of precious cake and offer it to the pastor. It seemed to echo the word of Jesus so long ago; “Take, eat.” “And there,” said the pastor, “I saw the chasm of hate and feat bridged – bridged by this incarnate kindness to the pastor and his group.” Kindness is power. Use no other.

Some Quakers were feeding people in Poland during the war. A Polish woman came up and said to them, “You feed everybody?” “Atheists, Poles, Russians, Germans?” “Yes.” “Jews, Catholics, Protestants?” “Yes.” She drew a deep sign and said, “Well, I knew there ought to be people in the world like that, but I didn’t believe there were.” And that proved to be power. For as someone said, “There were only two who came out at the end of the war with enhanced reputations – Christ and the Quakers.” And they both used kindness against the background of hate and force.

Gracious Father, help me this day to be clothed with kindliness. May the first thing people see in me be kindliness. Amen.

AFFIRMATION FOR THE DAY: God lets His kindly rain fall on the evil and the good. I also shall rain kindliness on all, regardless.

We Must Make Choices

The Risk in Being a Good Samaritan

There is almost always a risk in being a Good Samaritan. To stop by the side of the road, even when there appears to be no physical danger, always includes choosing for one thing and against another. Doing the right thing often requires neglecting something else that may be urgent. That neglect may irritate someone.

My Administrative Assistant arrived late one morning, which bothered me. She explained that her nephew was seriously ill and she had stopped to bring some food and encouragement. My slight irritation was unimportant because she was doing the right thing, while neglecting her office job. That is the way it is---you can’t really care very extensively without bothering or neglecting something or someone else; at least some of the time. We must make choices.



Feedback on Care and Kindness Conference

I enoyed the Care and Kindness Conference. It was one of the best experiences I have had in my life. To be on the grounds of the church is an inspiration in itself. All the seminars we attended were beneficial as well as intructional. My wife thought they were well done and the whole thing was put together in a professional manner....We also enjoyed having the chance to meet new people from different places..... It was indeed a very refreshing time.

A Wonderful Possibility

Bringing Heaven to Earth    Jesus prayer is challenging. Think about these words: “… your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” What an enormous project that is, to bring the goodness of heaven to life on earth.

Those words get at what Christian living is about. We are here to make the world a better place. It is more about bringing heaven to earth than about waiting to go to heaven. In heaven we will feel good about ourselves, confident, unafraid, feel loved and valued all the time. We will love everyone and understand life, nature and history, and a lot more. On earth as it is in heaven means working at making life more peaceful, loving, and secure. That is our task as followers of Jesus. What a wonderful assignment and every small, medium, or large act of kindness, creativity, diligence, and perseverance contributes to the goal.

Care Must be Noticeable

Care Must be Noticeable
We cannot claim to care just because we get a stomach ache or headache over someone’s difficult or sad circumstances. Care is action toward, for, on behalf of, the grieving or hurting soul. It includes moving into the uncomfortable territory.

Feelings must be translated into words, gifts, actions, tears, audible prayers, a walk across the street. Jesus is God become a person; “the Word (logos) became flesh.”  God put his love into physical, visible, tangible form. Jesus is God’s model for our lives—“dying for others.”

The Gift of Tears

“The Gift of Tears”

Sol Nunez told how he once shared a painful emotional wound with a friend. “She began to cry”, he said with amazement. “Nobody ever cried for my pain before”, explained Sol. “Her tears healed me a lot more than if she had read many Bible verses with me or even if she just prayed. It made me feel she understood what I was feeling and that my response was acceptable”.

Reflection: Too often we try to stop people from crying. We respond as if tears are a sign we have gone beyond an appropriate boundary. So we back off or grab a box of tissues to dry the water up as quickly as possible. Tears are a gift of God. When they flow toxins are emptying out and well-being is enhanced. Tears express our feelings powerfully in ways mere words cannot. Words often conceal. Tears are honest.

In Biblical times families would bring in gifted weepers to prime the pump of tears in the others. They would stand and wail causing others to weep. Tears were recognized as needed and appropriate not as an unwanted or embarrassing bother.

So Sol Nunez recognized the rare gift he received when his friend wept with him Her tears gave him permission to cry more. Plus her tears spoke deeply of her empathy and compassion for him. Her tears were a profound message of care and kindness too rare in our very verbal world.

from Peanuts cartoon

Charlie Brown: "Do pretty girls know they are pretty?"
Lucy: "Only if somebody tells them."

Comment: actually a compliment to a pretty girl makes them even prettier. They glow. Kind words are like vitamins. They nourish the spirit, and a lifted spirit makes the entire body healthier. Not only that a happy spirit spreads loving-kindness to others. So a compliment is a wonderful way of creating an ever-expanding chain of good will . It can spread like a prairie-fire of goodness. Here is a beautiful way to create a needed form of global warming.