When visiting someone who is in grief, or who has recently been hit by a distressing or unsettling event there is a major temptation. It is to think you have to fix the problem, give a solution, provide a remedy. Sometimes the answer folks give is a Scripture verse or Biblical wisdom. Even those may be untimely.
Remember the old formula: "90% of Helping is Just Showing Up". There is the medicine everyone needs. It is Love. Answers, fixes, solutions and remedies may be politely received but they seldom fit. Giving such supposed help may make the giver feel as if she is doing something but they are almost always inappropriate.
Show up! Act interested. Listen. Touch. Smile a little. Weep with those who weep. Rarely stay more than an hour (twenty minutes or less if the person is sick). Listen. Listen. Listen..
Remember, God heals. Your presence, not your "fixing" words, is love, and that love is part of God's healing presence. God will heal them. You show up.
Remember the old formula: "90% of Helping is Just Showing Up". There is the medicine everyone needs. It is Love. Answers, fixes, solutions and remedies may be politely received but they seldom fit. Giving such supposed help may make the giver feel as if she is doing something but they are almost always inappropriate.
Show up! Act interested. Listen. Touch. Smile a little. Weep with those who weep. Rarely stay more than an hour (twenty minutes or less if the person is sick). Listen. Listen. Listen..
Remember, God heals. Your presence, not your "fixing" words, is love, and that love is part of God's healing presence. God will heal them. You show up.
No comments:
Post a Comment