A SOFT ANSWER DOES TURN AWAY WRATH
It’s reassuring to doubters, such
as I, to find science reinforcing Biblical ideas. Here’s a new development I read about in Time magazine:
A SOFT ANSWER DOES
TURN AWAY WRATH, according to the results of a four-month study of unruly
children who were discipline problems in school. Normal and loud teacher reprimands that could
be heard by the whole class had no effect on the disruptive behavior of such
children. When the teachers switched to
soft reprimands that could be heard only by the child being corrected, most of
the unruly children misbehaved less often.
A return to loud reproaches resulted in an increase in poor behavior,
and later return to soft corrections again resulted in better behavior.
We who take the Bible so
literally might try putting some of its very concrete suggestions into practice
– starting with this one.
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath,
But
a harsh word stirs up anger.
I have learned the truth of that Proverb through a personal experience I had when my two sons were 9 and 10. I had developed a serious throat infection, causing laryngitis. When the doctor examined my throat he discovered nodes on both vocal cords. During the next 3 months I had two operations and was not allowed to speak during that time.
ReplyDeletePrior to this I had been in the habit of yelling down the hall from the kitchen when my kids were in their bedrooms. When they were playing down the street, I'd yell from the front door. In time, the volume of everyone's voice was much higher than necessary. I noticed that the boys were beginning to yell at each other, and sometimes it was critical or sarcastic or a put-down. Then I would yell at them to quit yelling at each other. Our house was not peaceful.
So, when I was told I had to be absolutely silent for 3 months, I couldn't imagine how I could get the boys to do things. Who would nag them to brush their teeth, wash their hands, get dressed, feed the dog, and get ready for school? It be honest, I wanted to be in control.
It didn't take long for me to notice how my husband and boys were speaking loudly to each other; barking commands or demands, hollering from one room to another. After the 3 months were up and I could speak in a whisper, an amazing thing happened. When the boys wanted to talk to me about something or ask a question they would come to me and whisper because they knew I would be responding in a whisper. In stead of yelling from the back bedroom to me in the kitchen, they would now come to the kitchen and talk in a soft voice, standing close to me so they could hear my whispered response. What an amazing discovery! They had been patterning their behavior after mine. When I yelled, they yelled. If I whispered, they whispered. Our house became calm and peaceful, and I thank God for that experience. It changed our lives.
Proverbs 15:18 The Message
Hot tempers start fights; a calm, cool spirit keeps the peace.