Humility

Humility is seen in the capacity to do what needs to be done.  Humility includes not thinking oneself greater than others, but the evidence of humility is a willingness to step forward instead of hanging back. It is seen in giving a hand rather than waiting for others to lead the way most of the time.

Often it is pride, not humility, that causes us not to speak up, not to ask a question, not to volunteer or express one's opinions.  Pride inhibits boldness.

Once I asked in a group setting for a volunteer to come forward and play the piano for a sone we would sing.  No one moved.  Finally someone coaxed a young woman to go forward.  She played superbly.  I assumed she had believed that humility required her kind of reluctance.  But is wasn't humility.  It was a form of pride protecting her from looking pushy or bold.  Humility would have offered to help right away.

Jesus was humble.  But he did not hang back.  He did what had to be done, gave what he had to give.
He shows us that obedience and helpfulness are the true marks of humility.

The Reason for Quiet Time

The reason for Quiet Time with the Lord is to get help.  It is not an end in itself.  That is, there is nothing beneficial about a time of devotional focus unless something good comes out of it.  Spending time with The Lord is to gain healing, encouragement, assurance, in order that we can more effectively contribute to those around us and our world. 

We are partners with God in building a better creation.  That is our life agenda. We learn that soon after finding our places as Followers of Jesus.  We learn that believing in the Lord Jesus assures us of life with Him in this life and the life to come.  But there is a lot more to this new life we have been given.  The new life is, in Jesus words “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”  That is what life is about. It is making the earth a place of greater goodness, beauty, justice and worthwhileness.  Each of us is a partner with Jesus in this wonderful project.

Encourage Others and Tell Your Story

Thoughtful Aging

Intentional Christian aging is different than slipping, sliding, coasting and idling into Senior years.  That ought to be our agenda as Christians-thoughtful aging.

Much of life is relatively clearly defined – infancy, toddler times, kindergarten, elementary school, high school, college or career, marriage, parenthood, are well-modeled.  We know what these phases involve. BUT NOT THE THIRD QUARTER OR THE SECOND HALF.  Something has happened so rapidly that we lack models, traditions, patterns, guidelines about how to live to 95 or 100 instead of to 75 or 85.  

By nature or training, my dad, while a wonderful, generous, caring person did not know how to concentrate his energies on giving encouragement, support, admiration, interest and pats on the back,.to the younger generation.or even his peers, the senior group.

Right there we pinpoint a major opportunity and responsibility for life after 60.  Instead of conventional productivity we can step instead into RELATIONAL business.  Seniors need to know how much they have to offer the younger generation just in terms of PAYING ATTENTION to them AND SPEAKING CLEAR MESSAGES OF LOVE, ENCOURAGEMENT, SUPPORT AND KINDNESS.  The vibrancy and bravado of youth should not distract us.  And feelings of love are not enough.  POSITIVE WORDS HEAL, LIFT, INSPIRE, STRENGTHEN, IMMUNIZE.  (Do not wait for appreciation, especially with teens.  They can’t send such messages.  KNOW THIS-- WORDS OF LOVE DO GOOD.)

Beyond our own families, here is a second career for all of us.  Sending messages of care and kindness all around.  SHOWING UP!! In tough and painful circumstances next door, across the street, or by phone, mail or internet to hurting strangers).

A valuable gift EVERY SENIOR CARRIES, that absolutely must be given away – especially to our families is OUR STORY.

The following generations needs to hear our story.  NOT ONLY DO THEY NEED TO HEAR IT, WE NEED TO TELL IT.

There is a wonderful healing that happens when we are invited by interested listeners to take all the time we need to share where we’ve been, what we’ve seen, known, experienced, and how we see God in all of it, too.

At the Crystal Cathedral I have nudged story-telling into a variety of classes as part of the process.  Fresh New Hope Telephone Counselors are put through 7 weeks of training, 2-1/2 hours a week.  The last 1-1/2 hours of every session is devoted to listening to each other’s story.  THE TRAINING ITSELF IS EXCELLENT AND INSPIRING.  But almost all cite TELLING THEIR STORY as the highlight.

2.         We include it in NEW MEMBERS classes

3.         We include it in LEAD ELDER TRAINING.

4.         SMALL GROUPS.

5.         FUNERAL PREPARATION

People are longing to be known.  And even though people have worked on councils, committees, teams for decades THEY DO NOT KNOW EACH OTHER’S STORIES.

When we tell our stories to our children, they gain

-          Insights into who they are (identity)

-          What values they’ve inherited

-          What’s important

-          How God uses the “stuff” of life.

·        
When older folks tell their stories THEY COME ALIVE AGAIN.  They gain a sense of completion.  Sometimes telling resolves old conflicts.  Endearment emerges as we see each other as persons.  Share your story !!!

Aging Well Part III

       III.           

BEAUTY AND ATTRACTIVENESS: 

 My friend, Jane Haas, is a small-time TV broadcaster in Orange County.  When I first met her she came across as a bright and engaging older woman.  The next time I saw her in person she appeared 10-15 years younger.  Jane had inherited large folds of skin in her neck – jowls-like.  Well, she’d taken a good bundle of money she’d inherited and with plastic surgery was rejuvenated.  What a gift she gave herself AND THE PUBLIC.

True, God doesn’t look at the outward appearance but at the heart.  BUT PEOPLE DO LOOK AT THE APPEARANCE.

Here, too, a danger lurks for the older –thinking appearances do not matter anymore; becoming care-less about what people think. But that, too, is self-centered.  ATTRACTIVENESS is ANOTHER WONDERFUL GIFT for the younger, and others around us.

-           RISK  -

I met a friend of mine, Moses Yim, age 79, with his grandson, Jon Yim, the other day.  Moses is proud of Jon, age 14, especially his golf game.  “He could have made par the other day,” said Moses, “he was on the green in one and instead of playing cautiously he ‘went for it’ and slid 3 yards past the hole and missed that putt.”  “Good for you, Jon,” I joked.  “When you’re your Grandpa’s age play cautiously but right now go for it!”

“When the attractiveness of safety and security always outweighs the attractiveness of risk and the dangers of risk and the dangers of risk always outweigh the dangers of security we begin to die.”

A couple of years ago I was invited as a clinically trained pastor to take training to be part of teams called to the site of airline crashes to tend to the spiritual needs of survivors and families.  I had to go to Albuquerque for several days and then be on-call two months of the year. I was obliged to drop everything and go for up to a week of orientation and training.

Almost everything in me said “no don't go” but a small voice said I was succumbing to the grip of safety and security too much – so I WENT.

It’s largely an age thing that caused me to hesitate.  I WONDER HOW I’D THINK IF NO ONE EVER DECLARED AGE 65 as the official “hang it up” age. 

I was never so shocked as when a nominee for Elder declined because he was 65  years old.  He was retiring from his job and from work in the church as well.  "Are you kidding?"  I said,  "You are just perfect for Elder work now and you’re quitting"? Older people see far better the deeper issues of life, than do the younger.

Spirituality is NOT ONLY OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, OUR WALK WITH JESUS and our PRAYER LIFE.  Our whole being requires SPIRIT CARE, SOUL CARE.

If we coast and draft in senior years we may easily DIE physically because of SPIRITUAL NEGLECT.  Spirituality includes relationships, beauty, giving, creativity, growing, meaning and purpose-staying alive nourishes our souls.

-        

Aging in the New Year Part II

                                                                 

Tell Your Story 

Another valuable gift EVERY SENIOR CARRIES that absolutely must be given away – especially to our families is OUR STORY.

The younger generations needs to hear where we have been and what it was like.  NOT ONLY DO THEY NEED TO HEAR IT, WE NEED TO TELL IT.

There is a wonderful healing that happens when we are invited by interested listeners to take all the time we need to share where we’ve been, what we’ve seen, known, experienced, and how we see God in all of it, too.

At the Crystal Cathedral I have nudged story-telling into a variety of classes as part of the process.  As New Hope Telephone Counselors – we put them through 7 weeks of training, 2-1/2 hours a week.  The last 1-1/2 hours of every session is devoted to taking turns listening to another’s story.  THE TRAINING ITSELF IS EXCELLENT AND INSPIRING.  But almost all cite TELLING THEIR STORY as the highlight.

2.         We include it in NEW MEMBERS

3.         We include it in LEAD ELDER TRAINING.

4.         SMALL GROUPS.

5.         FUNERAL PREPARATION

People are longing to be known.  And even though people have worked on councils, committees, teams for decades THEY DO NOT KNOW EACH OTHER’S STORIES.  They know little of their colleagues.

When we tell our stories to our children, they gain

-              >nsights into who they are (identity)

-              >What values they’ve inherited

-              >What’s important

-              >How God uses the “stuff” of life.

W    When the very old tell their stories THEY COME ALIVE AGAIN.  They gain a sense of completion.      Sometimes telling resolves old conflicts.  Endearment emerges as we see each other as persons.

My friend, Marilyn Duff, shared in her story how as a youngster one of her dear sisters died.  Marilyn tells how she consciously observed her mother’s reaction in the coming months and years.  She was going to school, taking lessons about life after tragedy-- and her mother didn’t even know it.  Fortunately, Marilyn says, even shortly after the young girl’s death her mother, every morning, would enter Marilyn’s bedroom with a cheery life-affirming burst of greeting the new day.  And Marilyn noticed and remembered.

A few years ago I was honored to have a book I wrote published.  In the book I tell about the retired minister friend I often visit who, now deceased, taught me a major lesson on SELF-CENTEREDNESS.  My 90% of  Helping is Just Showing Up book was a MAJOR thrill to me.  When I handed the old Pastor one of my very first copies he handled it a minute, glanced at it, set it aside and said “I never published anything".  It was about him

That was typical of our visits and I found it a common pattern.  I have concluded that as we grow older deliberate determination is needed to turn the spotlight off ourselves and on to others.  We must fight hard against self-centeredness.

                                                      

Aging-in the New Year

AGING

Intentional Christian aging is the opposite of slipping, sliding, coasting and idling into Senior years.  That ought to be our agenda as church leaders and Christians.

Much of life is clearly defined – infancy, toddler times, kindergarten, elementary school, high school, college or career, marriage, parenthood, etc. etc.  BUT NOT THE THIRD QUARTER “2^nd ½” or 4^th Quarter of adult life.  We have few models and little written directions for these years.  This is called “Cultural Lag”.  Something has happened SO FAST, SO NEW, SO DIFFERENT we lack traditions, patterns, guidelines about how to live with 1/3 of our life, 30 years, open after age 65.

My father, who died at age 98, must have done something right to be the sole survivor of  8 younger siblings.  Nevertheless he was absolutely ill-equipped for all those extra years.  He was a preacher!  That’s all he did and that is all he planned to do.  But a small stroke a dozen years ago impaired his speech, not his mind, and since that happened there was little on his menu of activities.  What he could do, the powerfully important role open to most older folks, he did little of – THAT IS, BLESS HIS CHILDREN, HIS GRANDCHILDREN, HIS GREAT GRANDCHILDREN!!  AND OTHER PEOPLE’S TOO!!

By nature or training, my dad, while a wonderful, generous, caring person did not know how to concentrate his energies on giving encouragement, support, words of love, show interest, give pats on the back, to a large group of younger folks, ages infant to senior citizens.

Right there we pinpoint a major opportunity and responsibility for life after 60.  Instead of conventional productivity we can step into RELATIONAL business.  Seniors need to realize how much they have to offer the younger generation--- just in terms of PAYING ATTENTION to them AND SPEAKING CLEAR MESSAGES OF LOVE, ENCOURAGEMENT, SUPPORT AND KINDNESS.  The vibrancy and bravado of youth should not distract us.  

Feelings of love are not enough.  POSITIVE WORDS HEAL, LIFT, INSPIRE, STRENGTHEN, IMMUNIZE.   KNOW THAT WORDS OF LOVE DO GOOD.  THEY ARE MEDICINE FOR THE SOUL.

Here is a second career for all of us.  It is sending messages of care and kindness all around by  SHOWING UP!! In tough and painful circumstances next door, across the street, or by phone, mail or internet to hurting strangers.  (90% OR MORE IS JUST SHOWING UP).