Tips for Acting Friendly

The First Four Suggestions for Brightening Our World

1. Greet People Warmly-"Good morning. It is good to see you." Become an enthusiastic, habitual greetor. Greet everybody, whether or not they make eye contact with you. Say "Hello". Say "Good morning." Say "Great to see you." -anything to send a pleasant message that they are noticed. A greeting is a connection. It is a gift. A greeting says "I notice you, you are valued, you are somebody!" A simple greeting is a blessing everybody needs. No exceptions.

2. Make Eye Contact-Look the person in the eyes, briefly, with warmth. Combine your eye contact with a smile and your greeting. "The eyes are the window to the soul", says the Bible. To be looked at personally is medicine for the soul.

3. Act Friendly-The emphasis here is on ACT. We do not just follow our feelings. That is, it doesn't depend on our mood in order to act friendly. We do what is right; good; needed. No matter what we are feeling we can send a message of friendliness. The amazing thing is that when we act friendly we not only lift another's spirits, but we also end up feeling better.  Such actions are agape' which is the highest form of love.  It is love that expects nothing in return.

4. Offer Compliments-"You look good." "I like doing business with you." "You have a good attitude." "I love your smile." Inside each and every one, are many appreciative feelings, words of admiration, and gratitude. Most of those thoughts remain unexpressed, kept inside ourselves. We must let them out! We must spray, sprinkle and spread compliments and appreciation on people. Take two seconds after any transaction, and put ionto words a short sentence of thankfulness, gratitude, or admiration. Make it simple, direct and personal. Plan ahead to be ready to give your gift of love. Then stand there for five seconds and say it, with a smile.

Be Still and Know that I am God

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD

Getting away from it all works wonders, experience teaches us.  Quiet-time, being alone, solitude, creates space for reality to regain proper perspective.

There is a way of knowing that goes beyond logic and deductive reasoning.  In a scientific age such knowledge is seldom given much official credence.  Still, of all we believe and hold true, a great deal comes from the anecdotal accounts of other people.  Unproven, untested, but believable because “it happened.”

Knowing God, and such phenomena as the resurrection of Jesus, fall into that category of knowledge for many.

Astronaut Edgar D. Mitchell talks of his confrontation with knowledge that transcends reason:

When I went to the moon, I was as pragmatic a scientist-engineer as any of my colleagues.  I’d spent more than a quarter of a century learning the rational-objective-experimental approach to dealing with the universe.  But my experience during Apollo 14 had another aspect.  It showed me certain limitations of science and technology

It began with the breathtaking experience of seeing planet earth floating in the immensity of space – the incredible beauty of a splendid blue-and-white jewel floating in the vast, black sky.  I underwent a religious-like peak experience, in which the presence of divinity became almost palpable.  Then I knew that life in the universe was  not just an accident based on random processes.  This knowledge, which came directly, intuitively, was not a matter of discursive reasoning or logical abstraction.  It was not deduced from information perceptible by the sensory organs.  The realization was subjective. It was knowledge every bit as real and compelling as the objective data the navigational program or the communications system was based on.  Clearly, the universe has meaning and direction–an unseen dimension behind the visible creation that gives it an intelligent design and gives life purpose.

“…you who weep…will laugh.”

An ancient guru is reputed to have inquired of the disheartened and dispirited people, those who were knowing no pleasure or joy in life--  “When did you stop dancing?  When did you stop singing?”

By this unique line of exploration he often arrived at the origin of their unhappiness.  The cause of their loss of vitality very often harked back to a major grief in their lives.  It may have been the death of a dear one, loss of a fortune, a significant illness, or some other major blow in their lives.

Some people didn’t even realize they had stopped singing or dancing, which this teacher regarded as the symbols of loss of joy.  Zest for life often just quietly seeped away leaving them dry, dispirited shadows, of their old selves.

Grief can do that.  It can slowly drain survivors of their vitality.

Jesus says, “Blessed are you who mourn for you shall be comforted.”  That is the version in Matthew’s Gospel.  Luke puts it this way:  “Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.”  This is The Lord Jesus’ promise:  healing and happiness follow mourning.  Proper, natural weeping and sorrow leads to renewal.  Weep first, laugh later, Jesus implies.  Psalm 30 puts it this way:  “weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

Understanding Jesus creates a safe place to be real, which is a prerequisite for proper mourning.  Knowing the Lord weeps with us is a major encourager as we shed our tears and grieve.  Psalm 23 helps with these thoughts:  “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me.” 

Little comforts as much as loving people “walking with”, “sitting with”, “weeping with”, those who are hurting.  That is the presence of The Lord-in the flesh.  Joy then comes “in the morning”.        

The 3rd Age Idea

The 3^rd Age Idea

(RELATIONSHIP TIME)

Life can now be appropriately divided into thirds.  The first third is roughly from starts with infancy and extends to about age 30.  It is preparation time, or getting started.  Birth, education, spiritual guidance, growing physically stronger, and learning about being a good person happens here.  Then, around age 30, we are usually well into a time of productivity.  Jobs, colleagues, friends and families are the clearest example of this.  These are usually by age thirty solidly underway yielding measurable, enjoyable, companionship, offspring, income, and other rewards.  Hard work often characterizes this part of life.

There are numerous exceptions to the rule but, for most, the years from age 30 to 60 are high energy, hardworking decades of building and refining important products and resources.

Then there is the 3^rd Age.  It can be a brand new and refreshing experience.  Often it begins with formal retirement.  In the past retirement offered only a few years of relief after a career of tedious employment.  It was not, as now, a whole new decades-long opportunity for something different.

In the past twenty years a major shift has begun.  Since then we have seen Octogenarians and even older, everywhere we looked.  Even living to age 100 is not so rare anymore.  So now life is no longer just two halves-preparation and production.  A fresh new third has opened to us.

For many the third quarter offers options rarely as plentiful earlier in life.  Some slide into new occupations that fit their passions.  Others finally have the opportunity to see the world or enjoy travel.  Many choose volunteer work helping, assisting, pitching in, on causes and projects that are clearly helpful to others:  a few examples are Bill Bryant-he is actively working as a Pastor; Ken Waltz does woodwork projects for family and friends; Don Heinlein will help anybody with Computer challenges; Art Gebhardt assists folk with home maintenance work.  Ed and Dorothy McCrory switched roles.  Ed is the “round-home” person and pursues his hobbies, while Dorothy reentered the workplace doing what she loves.   

Regardless of the many specific ways we can contribute, or enjoy life, there is one vital thread to be woven with special intentionality through these years.  In one word it is RELATIONSHIPS.  This word defines God’s mandate for us throughout our lives, but the 3^rd Age is a time when it is uniquely possible and important.

Nose to the grind-stone days are over.  Now we must notice people, give ourselves to them, and find ways to know and be known by others.  This is true in regard to our peers, those of our own age, but even more so it calls for connecting with the younger generation.  We have so much to give them!  Love, appreciation, admiration, encouragement, smiles.  These are easy to pass around and they nourish another’s soul like nothing else.  We also have ideas, wisdom, insights, experience that can be shared.  Many have skills, interests, and abilities that can be passed on to grandchildren and other youth. Little builds a child up as much as praise and appreciation from older folks unrelated to them.  These are gifts that should steadily flow from our lips into the hearts of those we meet.

All the while we are modeling something few of us had much of, namely how to be happy, healthy and enjoyable in the days often regarded as elderly.  The young need to see us living radiantly.  In the past few lived into their late seventies and eighties.  There were no patterns or styles for being an older person, they were so exceptional.  Today is different and we are leading the way, setting the standards, creating images of how to be in the third quarter of life.  It is an exciting challenge God has given us.  It is one in which we all can be active.