Spill Interest on Young Ones

Beware of the Infection of Self-Centeredness

As we grow older there is a tendency to drift into preoccupation with ourselves: our health, our physical problems, our sleep, money, trips, grandchildren and more.  The process also may include losing interest in others—their trips, interests, accomplishments, new items.

There is little as pleasant as another person taking interest in our lives.  So it is essential that as we grow older, and the self-centered drift progresses, that we resist it.  It often requires a deliberate decision to move in that direction. Not only does such a choice thrill the ones we show interest in, it is also an antidote against an older-person malady (me-ism) that turns others off.

Becoming a giver may require upgrading our self-concept.  We must believe this truth—“I am a reservoir of blessings”.  We are all full of goodness and must be ready to overflow with nourishment for the souls of younger folks. 

It doesn’t matter who you are, or how healthy, educated, wealthy or attractive.  You have within you words, interest, stories and expressions that can make a wonderful positive difference in the lives of younger men and women.  We are all potential healers. Check that self-centered drift, and spill loving interest on some young ones.  It can be life-giving to them, but it will always be spirit-lifting to us as well.

AS WE GROW OLDER WE MUST DELIBERATELY TAKE THE SPOTLIGHT OFF OURSELVES AND TURN IT ON OTHERS.

       

KOK'S LAW

                                                                KOK’S LAW
“Kok’s Law” came into being as a means of survival in intimidating circumstances. No doubt others have stumbled on its genius, too, but I am the first to state it as a law.

Remember all the times you sat in class as a college student tongue-tied with fear of volunteering the answer you had in mind? Then you melted in hot self-hate as you heard another speak exactly what you had thought, and she received high praise? Recall the many hunches, intuitions, ideas you’ve had but left unspoken or ignored because you lacked the confidence to speak about them or do something with them?  Then you read or heard them stated by someone else and received admiration?   “Kok’s Law” will help.

“Kok’s Law” was born one Saturday morning as I sat in a committee meeting planning a conference program. The chairman was a forceful, confident appearing person who had a load of ideas. He was on his way toward setting up the program all by himself, as the rest of us passively agreed. Then it hit me! I was aware in my heart and in my head that I was experiencing considerable distress and dis-ease. As I listened to my “guts” I heard howls of anger and objections. I didn’t like much of what the chairman was authoritatively hammering into place, I realized, but there I was nodding assent.

Then came the second revelation: If I’m feeling this way I’ll bet at least a couple of these other "yes-men" are, too. Assuming this was true, I thought I should speak up, because I’m sure to get support. So I spoke. Immediately the others joined in! The dominating chairman listened. In a fresh way the program was planned. Everything was  changed for the better.

“Kok’s Law” was born: If I am thinking something, or feeling something, at least half the others in a group or meeting are likely to be having the same thoughts or feelings!

Of course some people don’t need help to take a risk and speak up. Others of us do. We should remember the high probability that support will be present. That may be all some of us need to gain the courage to trust our hunches, ideas, opinions, feelings and step up to the podium, or take action. Kok’s Law used discreetly can give us the nudge many of us need.

Here is another example. Have you ever been in a room with other people when you felt very warm? What do you usually do? You look around and ask “Is it warm in here?” Kok's Law says-If you’re warm at least half the others are warm too – unless you’re getting the ‘flu or catching a cold.

Kok’s Law has become my faithful companion. It has helped me score in numerous situations where my natural self-consciousness used to limit me and hold me back. The thesis underlying Kok’s Law is that I’m a somewhat normative human being with sensitivities and responses similar to those found in at least half of the population, of which I am usually part.

I give you Kok’s Law to use carefully. I guarantee it will work at least half the time.

Bring Heaven to Earth

A Wonderful Possibility

Bringing Heaven to Earth:   Jesus prayer is challenging us with these words: “… your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

What an enormous project that is, to bring the goodness, beauty, love, of heaven to our life on earth. That is  what Christian living is about. We are here to make the world a better place. Life is more about bringing heaven to earth than about waiting to go to heaven. In heaven we will feel good about ourselves, confident, unafraid, loved and valued all the time. We will love everyone and understand life, nature, and history.  We will be bathed in beauty and loveliness, and a lot more. "On earth as it is in heaven" means for us to be working at making life more peaceful, loving, secure, efficient, comfortable, beautiful, just, and interesting.. That is our task as followers of Jesus. What a wonderful assignment! Every small, medium, or large act of kindness, creativity, diligence, and perseverance contributes to the goal.

Aging: Security vs Risk

The Joy of Aging is Balancing Security and Risk

All of life is a drama of balancing ourselves between security and risk.  There are wonderful delights in being secure.  There are special joys in taking risks.  And there are dangers and hazards in both.

Traditionally the enticements of risk win more with the younger generation.  The joys of security are more attractive to us as we age.  As a result there are more crashes among the young as they take risks, and more stagnation among the old, as we try to be safe and secure. 

Risk taking, and indifference to security, can produce an exciting roller-coaster ride, but such adventures often end back where they started-nothing gained but it was an exciting ride.  But not always is there a lack of gain.  The old axiom is true:  “nothing ventured nothing gained”.  Most growth is the result of breaking out and trying something at least slightly unpredictable and uncertain.

Too much concern with security can add up to tidy bank accounts and neat surroundings, but they may leave the participants  feeling shallow and  even somewhat bored.  Life and growth  seem to depend on trying some new or unproven ventures.

The challenge of aging is to keep on growing. That means continuing to be enticed by the attractions of risk taking.  that guarantees continued growth.  At the same time our health and well-being can be protected by a relatively wholesome amount of security.

When we stop growing we die.  We are expected as God’s people to see life as a continual growth process right up to the time we transition to Jesus’ arms in heaven.  Life  is not to be a challenge up to retirement and then a time of coasting, a downhill slide to the grave. Rather than slowly disconnecting and detaching from our surroundings we must continue to be transformed by the renewal of our minds.  We must never wholly give in to the comforts of the rocking chair and the T.V. but forever keep alive an openness to new adventures and opportunities for enjoying and brightening our world.

(Soon I will blog some ideas about how we can continue to grow even in advanced senior years).